Notes:
Part 2 will be posted soon!! I already have the idea of what to do, I just have to figure out how to tie all the parts I've already written.
This fic takes so much research ('cause I don't want to get anything wrong) and mental strength lol help
Also, please don't kill me. I posted this like a couple of weeks ago in ao3 and I forgot to post it here 🥲 sorry
Thank you for waiting!!
They won't leave you
They won't leave you
They won't leave you
They won't
They won't
They won't They won't they won'tthwywonttheywont
He repeats the words in his head like a mantra meant to soothe the crippling anxiety festering in his chest.
It's an impossible task, he concludes.
His chest feels like it's been filled with buzzing, out of control bees. They sting and scratch in every part of Xuxi's delicate body in a futile attempt to be let out. Xuxi knows better. Knows that were they to be let out, the floor would crumble and the semblance of normalcy he's been enjoying would fall with it.
Everything is already crumbling- his useless, useless mind supplies.
He's sitting on the bathroom's white, pristine tiles and he's scared. Terrified out of his mind from a monster no one else can see.
For many, it's the memories. Memories of someone that, once upon a time, hurt them so irreparably, that fear cripples their movements.
For some, it's the hands that touched them. That bruised them. That cut them.
For many, it's the voices that screamed. The ones that hurt and burned with every insult.
For him...for him the monster is himself. The hands that bruised his body are his. The ones that cut his skin are tied to his arms. The voices are those inside his head.
And he is terrified.
Terrified of himself.
Because for a second, and Xuxi thinks it was just a second, he had his fingers down his throat.
And gosh, he is terrified.
It feels too similar, too close to the absolute loss of control he had felt all those months ago. So fucking close he can practically feel the blood coming out his arms.
In a panic, he looks down. Searches the image of blood dripping down his abused wrists, staining the floor and leaving marks that not even the best cleanser had been able to remove.
YOU ARE READING
You Try (Even when the world doesn't want you to|| WayV Lucas Angst
FanfictionLight. That was the first thing he saw. Blinding, terrifying, light. Then Kunhang was hugging him. Then he was crying. In a hospital bed. ...what the hell happened? oh right yeah... _______ Or: 5 times Xuxi doesn't ask for help and 1 he does + a pro...
