play it cool [L.S]

chapter nine

dear toddler,
lol imagine having
toddler wrists/bracelets
-non toddler

dear paulina
hows being a
in your swiftie era?
-fellow swiftie

this is a long chapter😈

TW// panic/anxiety attack
_____________

again.

louis was sat on his bed, everyone gone. liam, niall, cass, paulina, the two men. everyone but them. harry can't help but overthink why he is —again— alone with louis. but god only knows... right?

"look" louis started, his knee bouncing —just like harry's does when he's anxious— "i didn't mean to cause anything between you and everyone, i needed a place to hide and you're phone and i-"

"you ramble when you're anxious" harry observed out loud as he sat next to louis, yet he was pushed back against the wall letting his legs curl into his chest, resting his chin atop his knees. louis turned his head to look at the younger boy "i'm not anxious— who- who- who said i was anxious? huh?"

harry smiled softly "your knee is bouncing like mad, you keeping trying to crack your knuckles even though they can't be cracked anymore, you're repeating words when you talk, you're eyes are darting around the room" he noticed louis let off a small smile, which made harry smile a bit more.

louis turned to look at harry "i just feel bad is all" he shrugged. harry stay seated in his position, this time putting his head back against the wall "it's okay if you feel bad, but it was just a small fight. it won't affect liam and-"

harry then noticed the shortness of breath louis was having. how his eyes darted all over the room at the speed of light. how his left leg was now bouncing instead of his right. the hand over heart. the look of sheer panic across the poor boys face.

harry rushed to his mini fridge and pulled out a water bottle, quick to open it too. he knelt down in front of louis and kept the water bottle in his hand. harry knows what to do in situations like these, sure maybe he's only ever been on louis' side of it but he's read all the books on anxiety. so yeah he knows what he's doing when he asks "louis? is it okay if i talk?" he waited a second for louis responded but he didn't. so he asks another question "louis? if you can hear me tap my hand twice" and surely enough louis did. he did tap harry's hand that was placed beside him.

"tap twice for yes and once for no okay?" louis was almost trembling in front of harry as harry spoke "tap once or twice if it's okay for me to talk to you" louis instantly tapped harry's hand twice, which made the younger one more assertive for what to do.

under some circumstances harry will not ever want to be talked to. all he needs is silence, it helps. only hearing his own heartbeat race for it's life, or his rapid breathing. but under other circumstances that rapid breathing and quick heartbeat will be too much and send him into a deeper state of panic. so having liam there to talk and distract him would always work. distraction, that's it.

"you remember the first time we hung out? how you told me almost everything there is to know about your family?" louis' careful eyes met harry's cautious ones for a split second before darting around the room again "you told me you had four sisters and were expecting one more and a brother in february. well i don't know how you managed with four sisters and being the oldest"

louis' breathing started to go down a bit so harry continued "i'm the youngest, my sister gemma she's the oldest. it was just the two of us, plus mum and robin. my sister and i fought a lot, but it's alright. she's almost like my partner in crime at times. don't tell her i said that, she'll hold it over me until the day i die" harry, never rambled to anyone new. let alone about his family but it's to help someone so it's okay. right? harry went to go sit next to louis, handing him so water before continuing.