play it cool [L.S]

chapter thirty

dear cass,
blond boys doing
what blond boys do
- not a blond

dear paulina,
i'm ready to update
that collage :)
-lauren

warning- drugs

_____________

"you need to go back to class harry!" liam stood in front of harry's bed "it's been thirty days"

shut the fuck up.

"you're going to fail the term"

i deserve to.

"harry..."

fuck off.

"usually you sit up but you aren't..." a dip was felt in the bed. harry was facing the wall wondering if his thoughts will ever stop running on the treadmill "i'm sorry about the other day"

no you aren't.

"i just wasn't used to the scent especially from you. i know it's not going to trigger you to relapse. niall set me straight and i really am sorry"

harry's arm started itching at the thought. he hasn't touched anything yet, never picked it up. yet the thought of it sitting in a drawer makes him want to get up in take it. he took a deep breath before getting up and taking the pack of cigarettes off the top of his desk.

he felt liam's eyes on him when he opened the window. he knew how liam was staring at him, trying not to interfere or say a snarky comment. he lit the cigarette and leaned his head back against the window frame. he let one leg dangle out of the window completely and rested on leg inside the dorm making sure he wouldn't fall.

liam just stood and stares as niall walked into the dorm, throwing his books onto his bed "i hate university" harry turned to face him, holding the cigarette outside the window "my stupid professor wants me to write an essay on these dead guys"

"niall you're a history major"

"shut up liam!"

niall continued to go on and on about how dumb the essay was and that he would drop out if he had another one. which harry assumed there would be since it's history. he was never good ag it personally, geography maybe. but history? it was never his subject. he could never memorize peoples names or the dates they invented or discovered things.

eventually niall shut up, but only when cass came in and told him to shut up as he was complaining about this same thing no less than three days ago "you whine like a baby"

"you love me though"

"and i never quite understand why" she smiled, letting him wrap an arm around her. it made harry miss louis even more.

every so often harry would be reminded of louis' laugh or scent and it would feel as if someone shot him in the heart. causing it to break out into a million pieces. it's not like he never thinks of louis, he does all the time but every so often it'll hurt even more than it already does.

***

just run.

faster.

you're running too slow.

you can't escape the feeling can you?

harry collapsed on the ground. his stomach growling. people only passed by him on the pavement, not even batting an eye, bruno mars played in his ear. he managed to sit on a a bench after, very weakly, picking himself up.

his head was throbbing and it felt like someone was stabbing him over and over in the stomach "hey you alright?" harry looked up to see a mother with her child. the kid must've been no more than the age of six. he nodded with a small smile, but the woman stayed put "i saw you fall" okay? "i don't mean to pry, since we don't know each other but have you eaten today?"