afraid. [ angst+smut+sanegiyuu ]

locking eyes : pt.1

When you first joined the hashira, Sanemi, you were violent and disobedient to the master. You violated him in many ways, yet he still loves you as one of his children.

Sanemi? Why is it that whenever I'm around you, my heart beats fast? I haven't felt this before, not even with Tsusako or Sabito. It couldn't be love. I don't deserve that, I was the cause of my loved ones death. How could I ever deserve to love again? I gripped my uniform tightly, Sanemi.. what are you doing?

××××

The day we crossed paths, and our eyes locking for a moment. The world felt like it went in slow motion. His eyes were clear, and clouds in them in sight. I remember every detail when I first met you.

" hey dickhead. Move outta the way would you? " His voice had a bit of annoyance in it, I quickly moved out of the way and he scoffed. " You act like a fucking dog, obedient my ass." We made eye contact, and it lasted for a second. I wish it lasted longer. I could stare at him any day. He walked into the room behind me, and I felt tingly sensation in my stomach, almost like I was happy. He didn't grab my uniform and threaten me this time, I wonder if I could be friends with him maybe just a friendly conversation even. I took a deep breath, and I decided to walk back to my estate. Before I could take another step, I felt a hand on my arm pulling me behind. It dragged me to the room Sanemi walked in, soon enough I was pinned against the wall by Sanemi.

Our faces were so close together. It was like a dream, " Breathe through your nose, it's not that hard. " He kissed me, and his tounge traveled everywhere inside my mouth. I trembled, " Can't breathe now can you? " He went in for another kiss, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I let out soft moans, as he explored my body. Is this a dream? Sanemi wouldn't think of me this way, right? My face started getting red as he started taking off my uniform. He unbuttoned my shirt, and he teased my nipples. Twisting, squeezing, etc. I shook, and trembled under his touch. " Why aren't you stopping me Tomioka? " He said, as he kissed my chest.
" Well, I don't exactly hate it. Why would I stop you? " He chuckled, " You're a honest one aren't ya? " I felt him unbuckling my belt, and reaching for my d^ck. He started stroking it, whilst teasing my nipples. Ah.. it felt so good. My mind is going blank, This sensation in my body, I want more of it.

Sanemi's Perspective

I rubbed his d^ck up and down, he kept on squirming letting out moans as I touched him. " Sanemi.. wait! " He released his c^m, " You're cumming from this? Already? " I laid him down on the floor, laying on his stomach. I put lube on my finger and his asshole to prepare him. " Ready? " He nodded, and I stuck a finger in. He was already getting tight, I thrusted my finger in and out in a fast motion, and I leaned over and turned his face towards me. " You look so good from this view, your body is so adorable. " I thrusted my fingers faster, and all he could let out of his mouth were moans and groans. I put in 2 fingers, then 3. " S-sanemi! Wait.. " He gasped for air, " Isn't this what you wanted? There's so going back. " I thrusted my fingers in and out and he kept c^mming. He was so adorable trembling under me. I turned his face towards me, and he looked wonderful. His eyes were full of lust, and tears full of pleasant feelings formed at the corners of his eyes. Drool came down his mouth, as he tried to breathe properly. I let him cum one last time, and stopped. His breathing got heavier, " you really know how to please people don't you? " He said, in a shaky voice.
" That's not all, you thought we were done? "
I took off my clothes, and I rubbed my d^ck against his asshole. " Ready for round 2? " He nodded, " Yes, anything to make you feel pleased. " His face looked happy, as if he were in heaven. I felt like I could always look up to that expression, as he is usually expressionless when he's outside. I put it in, and let him adjust to it. I started moving, each second going faster. He let out muffled moans as he gripped my haori that was laying on the floor. His back arched whenever I hit his g-spot. I lifted him, so that he would be sitting on my lap. He moved up and down, and it was a amazing view. I took things to my care, and I held his hips and moved him up and down. He got really tight, and it felt like heaven. I didn't think I would ever be able to play with giyuu this way, but here I am. I turned his face towards mez and kissed him. I left no spot untouched. He kept c^mming, and moaning. I went faster and we both we are our limits. We c^mmed at the same time. We gasped for air, and he drooped down as if he were lifeless. I let him rest, making a pillow out of my haori and putting his haori over him like a blanket. I dressed up in my uniform, and I waited for him to wake up.

Giyuu's perspective

Ugh.. what happened? It took a little to remember, and I finally realized what I did. I sat up quickly, and heard a familiar voice.
" You're finally awake, are your hips okay? "
I nodded, flustered. I tried to hide it, and I quickly dressed.

" Sanemi? Do you love me? "

" No. "

" Then why- "

He cut me off by getting closer to my face, as if it was a threat. Although, he doesn't love me I'm glad he even thought of having sex with me, I'm happy that he left something of his in me.

We continued having sex, but how come he doesn't love me? Was he just using me? No. If you have sex with someone, you have to have some kind of feelings for them. Was he afraid? He left immediately after having sex, but I wanted him to stay longer. I wanted to be more.

[ time skip, to after the final battle, and after recovering! ]

I sent sanemi letters, but he never replied back. After all those nights of sleeping together he didn't even care. Maybe he really didn't love me. It was probably my imagination, my stupid fucking imagination. Was I just a toy to him? A c^mdumpster? I kept sending him letters, searching for hope. But not a single reply was touched by my hands. What does he want from me exactly?

author's note!!
- hii thank you for reading the first chapter! This has many references, and I struggled a bit. If you don't mind, would you give me feedback? I would love that!! Thank you, and have a amazing day.

Word count: 1217