the unknown feeling i have

CHAPTER 9:OH, IS IT LOVE?

How would i know if it's really love?

Is it from the first time i pressed my lips against yours?
thinking off,
is it Love?

I love to feel loved but i can't stand the rejection.
I thought before I'm just protecting my heart from hurting.
But I've realized that I'm just being selfish,
Di ba nga "all is fair in LOVE AND WAR"?
Lahat tayo in the end masasaktan at masasaktan,

Siddhartha Gautama once said that "LIFE IS FULL OF SUFFERING"
Tsaka lang naman matatapos yung suffering pag namatay na tayo. Di ba?

Sabi daw ni Sam Smith
"stay with me coz your all I need,
This ain't love it's clear to see,
but darling stay with me."

Sabi naman ng WE THE KINGS
"Without you I feel broke,
Like I'm half of a whole,
Without you,
I've got no hand to hold,
Without you I'm just a sad song"

"Putting my defenses up,
Coz i dont want to fall in love,
if i ever did that,
I think  I'd have a heart attack"
once na nahanap mo na  yung THE ONE,
WALA KA NG TAKAS BOY!
di mo na pwedeng sabihing "can i please take my heart back?"
para lang silang snatcher e.
pero sila yung walang alam na nagnakaw,
katulad pag sa jeep,
sumakay ka di ba,
sa kaka-isip mo sa crush mo,
di mo napansin yung bayad mo kay manong,
nasa kamay mo pa pala,
saka mo lang maaalala kung kailan TOO LATE na,
nakaalis na yung jeep,
mababansagan ka pang DAKILANG 123!

sabi nga "THERE'S NO TURNING BACK,
IT'S EITHER YOU RUN OR FACE IT RIGHT NOW,
BUT IF YOU CHOOSES TO RUN,
IT WILL HUNT YOU DOWN,
AND YOU STILL DON'T HAVE ANY CHOICE,
BUT TO FACE IT" kuha mo?

masakit bang isipin?
ganun ba kahirap gawin?

anu lang naman yung 15 years ng pag-mu-move-on,
compared sa FOREVERMORE,
kaya mabuti na yung MAAGAP kaysa
MAINGAT.

Meron bang taonng makakaiwas masaktan once na nag-take sila ng risk sa love-love na yan.

Ang dami kong tanong na di masagot-sagot.

Pero bakit nga ba nagtatanong pa ko?

Alam ko namang walang exception dito.

L101

Anung room ba ko?

Azar ang hirap pag babagal-bagal nawawalan ng slot.

Sabi nila di lahat ng bagay na gusto ng tao nakukuha nya,
Still punong-puno parin tayo ng mga bagay na gustong makuha,
Kung ako nga lang  halimbawa,
Ayokong mawalan,
Gusto ko ma-retain lahat ng meron ako ng habang buhay,
may madadagdag walang bawas,
Lahat ng bagay dapat BALANCE,
Ayoko ng mag-isip kaya itutulog ko na lang to baka sakaling mawala pa lahat ng doubts ko sa katawan,
Hello, dreamland! tatakasan ko muna si real world!

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz -.-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"When your gone the pieces of my heart are missing you,
When your gone the face i came to know is missing too,
When your gone the words i need to hear to always get me through the day,
And make it okay i missed you."

Argh!Ang aga pa parang awa nyo na!Mag patulog kayo.
At dahil ayaw magpatulog ng bwisit na caller,
titirisin ko sya,
Still eyes closed while picking and i pressing the answer button
Argh!sino ba kasing bwi-...

"Goodmorning Princess" the guy from the other line said.

"Argh! DO  YOU KNOW THAT NO ONE TRIES TO CALL ME OR DUSTURB ME FROM MY PRECIOUS NAP THIS EARLY IN TNE MORNING?! IT'S LIKE PLAYING DUMB WAYS TO DIE, TELL WHAT THE BLOODY F CK NG H LL YOU WANT FROM ME?!" I  said in a cold voice.I badly need to sleep, my mind needs it, after that frustrating comfrontation with Clyde i never did stop thinking about it, aish,  sleeping is the only way to stop me from wasting my brain cells storing unpleasant memories.

After a few hours. Tada! I'm ready for school na. And another, TADA! andito si CLYDE sa labas ng gate.  Buset. Ha ha ha nako naman. Awkward. Haha. Sinabayan ko na sya. By the way sa tapat namin sya nakatira. Ha ha ha again. 

Walang kumikibo sa aming dalawa kaya i've decided to broke the silence. I can't take this anymore.

" Why me? I mean, why is it has to be me? There's a lot of beautiful ladies out there. But why me? I'm too PLAIN. " I said. Emphasizing the word plain.

"There is no reason not to love you.  Because in the end, we only regret the chances we didn't  take. Never ever doubt yourself. On what you are and what you are not. "

Wala na speechless na ko.  He never did make me feel less. When I'm with him I will I'm more than he ever wish to have.