𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲 - squid game

chapter 1: "don't you wanna help mom?"

1 ----------------------------------- ◯ △ ▢

My socks slid quickly on the floor as I raced to my mom's bedroom in our small apartment, nearly slipping on the recently mopped floors. I tugged the sheets off of her and gasped, then cursed myself for being such an idiot as I realized that I left her fan on.

"Mom! Are you okay?" I panicked. She wasn't always so stiff so when I felt her, I knew something was wrong. Her normally warm skin felt like an ice cube.

She turned over and groggily smiled at me. I knew behind all of her little smiles that she wasn't getting any better, though I prayed that she would.

My mother had leukemia, which is cancer in the blood cells. My father was normally out finding different jobs that would take a man who's been to jail almost a dozen times. Since I was nearly done with school, taking care of my mom would be a handful if I were working toward starting my own life. My dad wouldn't be able to help, he's always too busy to even come home.

I wistfully walked back to the kitchen where I grabbed my mom's soggy bowl of oatmeal that was made hours ago. I put it on her nightstand and helped her eat some, her shaky hands make this an insurmountable task to do by oneself. She motioned for me to get out of her room while she'd get ready for the day, like always. My mom's routine stays consistent, no matter what the people around her do.

I slugged out of her room and grabbed my sweater, bag, and hat off of the hook next to the door. It was a groggy day since it rained the night before and the weather was slowly transitioning between summer and fall, but with climate change, it felt like winter. Big grey clouds hovered over my small town, they almost looked bigger than the neighborhood. Soon, if my dad's plan worked out well, we'd have enough to find another place to live. Maybe even a city.

"Mom, I'm going out. I'll be back in a little!" I called, hoping she'd hear me from her room. I heard a little gurgle of agreement as I closed the door and double-checked if it was locked. I walked down the stairs and onto the sidewalk. When I wanted to take a break from being busy at home, I'd take long walks. Not to anywhere specific, just around.

I strolled down to the park that was a street or two down, the walk felt longer than usual but I assumed it was just the lack of sleep I had the night before. I walked through the gates of the park and sat down on my usual bench, my fingers felt like I stuck my hands in a foot of snow. It was so cold, the rest of my body felt hot. It was as if I was a walking volcano with icicles as hands. I seriously needed to get some new gloves. I pulled my notebook out of my backpack and wrote down my thoughts and feelings, from everything that happened last week to now. Love songs blasted through my headphones, almost loud enough for the people next to me to hear.

I stood up as more and more kids began coming over to the park since I didn't want to look like some weirdo just sitting at a park bench. I walked through the gate and began heading home when I saw a familiar car parked outside of my house. It was my dad's.

I walked through the open door and into the living room, my dad sat on the couch, tapping his foot on the hardwood floor. His smiling face told me something went right at work today.

"Guess what, Seo-jun!" He grinned.

"Yeah?" I responded while taking off my shoes and setting my jacket on the hook. I wasn't looking forward to getting tonight's dinner ready so I figured I might just heat leftovers for us. Mounds of dishes that had been there since last week filled the sink to the top.

"I got a business deal in Seungbong-ri. It's a big one this time, even for a small island." He laughed while adjusting his tie to his liking.

"Oh really? Is it more important than your own family who you barely even see?" My heart is pounding for saying something that I'd be in trouble for if mom was in the room. My dad and his stupid decisions have been on my mind lately, it was ironic that he'd even come home on the day I was planning on texting him about it.

"Listen, If you're going to keep going on and on about this, we will never get the money to get out of here. Your mother isn't doing well, her hearing is nearly gone and it's getting worse. You might as well be prepared to plan her funeral because she definitely won't make it past next month." He bet on my mother's life like it was some glass antique at an auction.

I slammed my hand on the table in anger, how could he be so delusional for him to think that I could believe him for this excuse anymore?

"You don't even take mom to the hospital to know how she's doing every day," I snarled, I could almost feel the salty water forcing itself out of my eyes. He leaned back and put his hand on my shoulder in such a passive-aggressive way that startled me.

"We would make a killing if you joined me on the job. Don't you wanna help mom?" He smiled while waving a 100,000 won in my face.

I hear a shatter and faintly register that it was the plate I was washing.