pieces of paper

loneliness

Aaron's POV:
I woke up in my empty bed, alone, and to be honest? disappointed. although I have Jack and my team to keep me some sort of company, it's not what I looked for. I still felt alone. I missed this romantic feeling of butterflies in my stomach. I hated this loneliness. I couldn't do it anymore.
I need this kind of love again.

although Haley and I divorced before what happened to her, I still loved her, and I knew that she was out there, that if she'd ever want me back I'll be there. but now? it could never happen. I lost her. forever.

it's been exactly two years since Haley had passed and I was tired of this loneliness. I started my day with visiting her grave with Jack, we placed flowers on it gently and I saw him trying to hold back his tears. "hey buddy... come here..." I opened my arm for him and held him tightly.
when she passed, I don't think he even realized what happened but now I could only imagine how much he misses her.

I felt his warm tears on my shirt, I tried my best to comfort him. "I know it's hard without her, but remember she will always be in our hearts." I placed his hand on his heart. "and up there? she's watching us, always, she'll always watch her boys." I said with a sad smile and then he gave me a one back. we stayed there for a little while and then went back home. I made Jack some pancakes, I'd do anything to make him smile, especially today. I sat down with him, he told me about his friends at school and I was just happy to see him growing up. talking to him took my mind off the thought that ran over and over again in my head.

"what am I going to do about this loneliness."

I couldn't deal with it anymore. I had to do something. I tried meeting new people, I even tried online dating! Garcia once found my profile! but after years of profiling... every time I meet someone I start profiling them in my mind and overthink things. I knew I needed some sort of help with this but I know I'd feel pathetic if I actually go someone professional.

after a while of hanging out with Jack, I suddenly got a phone call. it was Garcia.
"Hi sir... I'm sorry to bother you on your free day but... we have a case." she said, I heard the sadness through her voice and I sighed and told here I'll come as fast as I can.

"hi buddy... I need go... I have a case..." I said, I didn't want to leave him. especially today. I saw that he was sad that I'm leaving, he hugged me tight, I love him so much. "you know what? I'll tell them I can't come so I could stay here with you." I said and he looked at me, I thought he'd want me to stay but he shook his head. "no dad, you should help them, you're a hero! you need to save people!" he said and I couldn't help it but smile. I kissed his forehead and called Jessica to watch over him until I'll be back.

after a short drive I arrived at the building and I immediately went up to meeting room. "I'm sorry I'm late." I apologized and sat down around the round table.
"Hotch... we didn't think you'd come..." JJ said and everyone looked at me, Reid, JJ and Morgan were a little bit shocked, I could see that by the way they looked at me. Rossi wasn't shocked, he knew me and he knew that I'd do anything for my work, Garcia already knew I was coming but Prentiss... Prentiss looked a little bit sad, not surprised at all to see me but I saw that she was hurt. I didn't know by what and I don't think she'd want to open up about it right now.

Garcia started talking about the case. "3 men were kidnapped in Nashville, Tennessee, each family got one of the victims fingers. the victims are William Hensley, Henry west and Daniel Gray. they all work together and they've been friends since childhood." and we all looked in our files. we shared our opinions and after everyone said their theories I stood up "alright guys, wheels up in 30."
everyone nodded and walked to their desks.

while I was walking to my office I heard Reid and JJ talk. "did you hear that we have a personal therapist now? after everything that happened in these two years they thought it'd be the best to get us someone professional to talk to." Reid said and JJ looked at him and chuckled "honestly? we needed that years ago." she said and Reid nodded.

I walked into my office and sat down. I couldn't stop thinking about this question, the one that I had on my mind for too long.
"what am I going to do about this loneliness."
maybe I should go to that therapist Reid and JJ were talking about? I forgot I even approved something like that. but nothing could go wrong, right? I'll go there after we'll solve the case.

before I made my way to the jet, I went to see Garcia. "Hi Garcia, I need your help." I said, she immediately turned around to me and nodded "anything sir!"
"So we have a therapist now, can you check when can I see her?" I said quietly, almost whispering. With a few clicks she found everything about our therapist's schedule. "boom! there's nothing I won't be able to find, there you go sir." she said with a big smile. I read a little bit about her, she seemed very professional, maybe she'd help me. "thank you Garcia, I have one more thing to ask you to do... can you keep this a secret? I don't want the rest of the team to start worrying about me." I asked her and she nodded "anything for my favorite boss!" she smiled and I nodded at her comment.

// WELL HI BABES! i'm pretty excited about this!! i know my writing isn't the best and english isn't my first language but i hope yall would like my story <3 have a lovely day!!