Fatal Attraction | D.M. (Soft Rewrite)

Chapter Fifty-Seven - Two, Reunited

Resting in the room of requirement, Draco tried to ignore the breadth of mattress left empty. The space that marked her absence and affirmed his loneliness. For, he was no closer to discovering a safe means to tell Ophelia the truth - and that wasn't for lack of trying.

Procrastinating was no hardship; it was staying away from her. But tonight, after researching methods and consolidating his memories, he conceded it was time for a break.

Dramatically sighing, as he fell to the mattress. Seeking comfort but wincing and cringing forwards instead, after discovering and promptly removing a book lodged between his shoulder blades and the bed. Sluggishly kicking off his shoes and wriggling off the rest of his outfit, so he didn't soil the sheets, before shifting higher up the bed.

Draco ignored the way his slumped elbow, warped the pillows. Creasing the linen in an uncomfortable manner that chaffed his skin - because he was too tired, too forlorn to adjust positions. As if regret anchored him to that spot. As if he didn't deserve to be comfortable anyway.

Upon returning from the Manor, he genuinely tried to stay on his side of the bed. Consciously choosing his spot, closer to the entrance and his bedside table. But in the night, his body naturally wandered. Seeking her warmth and comfort, his form instinctively curled around a pillow for company. Or it closed on nothing and he would wake with his cheek crushed against her side of the mattress. His hands flailed out, as he hopelessly grasped for something out of reach.

Until one evening...when he couldn't stand the pitiful arrangement any longer and moved there permanently. Spending every night in that bed, instead of the boys' dormitory, while stubbornly hoping that Ophelia would find her way back to him...back to her side of the bed.

In private, he read the books she left behind and tinkered with the items she abandoned on her bedside table. Like her collection of semi-precious rings, which barely passed the first knuckle on his pinky finger. Or her leather-bound journal, with miscellaneous quotes from her favorite novels lining the margins.

At first, he thought it was cowardly to clear the empty vials of dreamless sleep. But soon, he realised he didn't depend on physical reminders. Every part of him accepted how badly he'd mishandled the situation with Ophelia - as he regularly succumbed to that sinkhole of self-hatred, in lessons, or between mouthfuls of breakfast. Dwelling on how he was failing the woman he adored, cherished - wanted to protect above anyone else. And knowing with absolute certainty that he needed to make a change.

So, he vowed, right before throwing them away to do just that. But still, he didn't feel worthy.

Pigeonholed by misconceptions and soured by selfish twinges in his gut. It felt like he was constantly clashing with the antagonising voice inside his head, telling him to be offended because everyone believed the lie. And the horrendous lengths it took for Nott and Flint to trust me again... The fact nobody was prepared to question the validity of what they saw - makes me doubt everything. Did I not show how deep my feelings went? Did I not prove how revolting I found Pansy's provocation? Did I not look like I wanted to be by Ophelia's side, always?

In this world of magic - where you can transfigure, charm and bewitch - how did they not guess something was awry?

Millicent and Nott's medley of vitriol and loathing is one thing - Flint's disappointment was another. But worst of all, is Ophelia's regret for ever being involved with the likes of me - and the fact, I can't blame her. I can't allow bitterness to fester, like my immature heart wants... Regardless of how unjust everything feels, I'm to blame for my persecution, for as long as I keep quiet.

But it's difficult - deciding when to fight - when I don't deserve her affection... I claimed her as soon as possible, no question about that but I never once let myself grow comfortable with the idea that she would always feel the same... I never believed that the happiness she brought into my life could last.