Dan Howell + Phil Lester fanfic- Falling Phrantically

6

Dan

What was the best way to do this, I wondered? Probably not the way I was doing it, creeping along the wall like some thief or weirdo- what can I say, it comes naturally. I could sense Phil's stillness, he was most definitely scared out of his skin. Even I was scared, of what would happen next. Best just to go for it. Say something Dan. But what? How do you excuse yourself from a situation like this?

"Phil, it's just me." I blurted, stepping into his room. Phil shrieked and jumped, clutching his chest dramatically.

"Oh my god, DAN, what the heck were you doing?" He shouted at me. I blinked- I was NOT used to Phil shouting at me.

"Sorry, I just needed to get my laptop charger!" I muttered, avoiding his eyes.

"You didn't have to do it like that!" He shouted again. I suddenly noticed how attractive he was angry. Objectively, of course.

"Why do you need it anyway? Doesn't Dena have one?" he sneered, his face unusually spiteful.

"No, she doesn't- why does it matter so much anyway? Do you have a problem with her?" I inquired (loudly).

"No!" He exclaimed quickly.

"Are you sure? Cos that's not how it's coming across!" I shouted. Jeez, this was getting heated. I'd never had an argument with Phil before, only the everyday bickering. But he could be feisty when he wanted.

There was a minute of silence.

"It doesn't matter anyway." He said, dismissing the problem with a flap of his hand. "Just go."

I suddenly felt awkward- now that we weren't arguing, I wasn't quite sure what to say anymore. Phil was wandering around his room, aimlessly putting the occasional thing on a shelf in a vain attempt to avoid looking at me. He started chucking the clothes from his bed into a backpack, and grabbed his phone and wallet. Where was he off to, I wondered?

Just then, Phil's Mac pinged and we both immediately looked over- an excuse not to talk. But as I started to read what had come up on the computer screen, my previous thoughts evaporated and my awkwardness turned to shock and then to horror. Phil's expression turned to one of pure panic, and he dived in front of the computer to get rid of the message- but I had seen it.

"Phil, what the hell was that?" I asked cautiously. Phil hung his head, and shut down his computer.

"Just a message." He said quietly.

"Just a message? Are you kidding? Did you see what it said- it said you were a-" Words tumbled out of my mouth.

"I know what it said." Phil replied sharply. "Just a hate comment, we all get them."

"That wasn't on YouTube. For fucks sake, you've been acting weird for weeks now, why can't you just tell me what the fuck is going on?" My voice ascended until I was shrieking.

"Oh just piss off Dan, stop pretending you care." Phil snapped, I could see his getting seriously irritated. "Get back to Dena, your fake concern is not needed or appreciated." Phil glared at me. He shoved me out of his room and with one last push he said:

"Please, I can't deal with another fight." And with that, he shut the door gently behind me.

I turned around stunned, and looked around the flat, wondering what to do. In the end, I picked up my bag and left the flat, before catching a bus back to Dena's. I couldn't stop thinking about those messages, calling Phil things so rude they were almost unspeakable. And Phil. The scene kept replaying in my head, how he looked when he saw the messages, or when he had told me to take my concern elsewhere. Did he really think that? And those hate messages- they were far more intense and personal than the usual crap we had to endure. My mind wandered to earlier this week, Phil's snappiness and the way in which he was glued to his laptop. And for some reason, my brain kept thinking about how good he looked angry. Damn you, Phil Lester, for messing with my mind! Eventually I was too exhausted to think about it any more, and came to the conclusion that Phil was just stressed , and having me around trying to get him to open up was not helping. I jumped off the bus.