Notorious

23

Grief is natural, they say. And so is death.

I don't want either.

I'd lost everyone I've ever loved in my life at one point and I had no intention of having that happen again.

There have been few times in my life where I've felt helpless. I was always the one in control of my own life and what happened to me.

Until that day where I sat and watched Nikki lose a part of her soul, never to gain it back again.

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I had just rolled out of bed when I heard the screech of car wheels from outside and a scream.

Everything happened in a blur and to this day I still don't quite remember what happened.

Instinctively Nikki and I grabbed our guns and ran outside.

Tyler was squinting, trying to make out who was in the vehicle as it came closer to us.

Before Tyler could yell for everyone to go inside, there were multiple gunshots going off.

I pulled Nikki behind me as I started firing back at the car.

We were getting ambushed.

Brandon had no plans to keep the peace, it had been a fucking lie.

When a child started screaming, it seemed to go silent and I felt my heart drop to my knees.

Nikki's brother.

Fuck!

I saw his little body lying in the road, a trail of blood pouring out.

"Carson!" Nikki screamed, and that moment would forever haunt me as she ran over to her brother, falling in the gravel, cutting up her knees.

"Someone call 911!" Michelle yelled. I ran to where Nikki was.

She was cradling his head, tears running freely down her face.

"Come on, Carson," I said, grabbing his hand, "Hang on, you're going to be okay."

"It hurts, I don't wanna die." He cried out, his tiny body writhing. "Am I gonna die?!"

Nikki had a hand over his bullet wound, trying to stop the bleeding but it wasn't working. I tried to help her, but it wasn't good enough. He was losing too much blood for someone his size.

Where was that fucking ambulance?!

Adults I could handle seeing get shot, half the time I didn't even care.

But this, an innocent kid. It was fucking painful knowing there was nothing we could do but wait.

"No, Carson. Stay with me." She pleaded as his breathing started to slow and his cry was more of a murmur now.

His eyes hazed over and his chest slowed.

Fuck.

"Carson!" Nikki screamed, shaking his shoulders, "Wake up!"

"Nik, he's gone." I said, reaching out for her.

She started screaming, crying and hyperventilating. Blood curdling screams, big sobs and struggling to catch her breath through it all.

Kids shouldn't die. It wasn't fucking right. I was so mad, I wanted to hunt them down and shoot every single of them.

I should've kept him safe. It was my fault. They were after me and Tyler, our gang. It was my fault he was dead. A young kid who had his whole life ahead of him got caught in the crossfire.