Just That Girl

Past *TRIGGER WARNING*

******WARNING POSSIBLY TRIGGERING CONTENT STARTS IMMEDIATLY BELOW: SEXUAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE**********

"You're just a fat little whore, and that's all you'll ever be." He spits in my face.

I try tugging against the handcuffs that have my arms and legs locked on each corner of the bed, but the metal only cuts deeper into my wrists. The tears stream down my face because I know what's coming next. 

His hand finds my neck and rests there as he crawls over my naked body. I whimper for him to stop, but he slams into me anyways. Mistaking my screams of  pain for cries of pleasure and he proceeds to use my body to fulfill his own needs, pumping into me and choking me until I pass out. 

I wake up sweaty with wet tears rolling down my face. I look over at my phone.

12:55 am

I sigh and sit up. I jump off my bed and throw on a pair of jeans and one of Alec's hoodies that he keeps over at my house. I pull my hair back into a ball cap grab my wallet and make my way out of my house and into my truck.

Sneaking out would be a lot more sneaky if my parents were actually home instead of at their separate offices banging their boss and their secretary.

That's why I spend most of my time at Luke's, because then I don't have to worry about my parents coming home, mom with her shirt buttoned the wrong way smelling like her boss's cologne and dad with lipstick smeared across his face, neck and shirt collar smelling like suffocating peonies. Then them both acting like everything is fine, and ignoring their daughter. 

My truck starts right up and I drive the twenty minutes that it takes for me to get to the only bar that's actually in town.

I grab my wallet, double check my fake ID just incase and stroll inside.

I take a seat in one of the dimly lit corner booths and think about what to get to drink. I settle on a Tonic and Gin.

I'm waiting for one of the waiters when a snippet of a memory hits me like a train.

"...And for you miss?"

"I'll just have a Tonic thank you." The waiter walks away and suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my side.

"When he comes back tell him you want a Tonic and Gin."

"I don't want that. I ordered what I wanted plain and simple."

The pain increases and I feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"If I say order something with alcohol then fucking order it. Do you understand you ugly little slut?" His voice whispers menacingly in my ear.

"Yes sir." I reply and the pain vanishes. I glance down and sure enough blood stains my shirt from where the knife was pressing into my side.

Just like that I'm back in the corner booth a waiter approaching.

"What can I get for the lovely lady?" He's probably twenty something and flashes a charming smile my way.

"A Tonic and- actually just a plain Tonic water."

"That will be right out."

"Thank you." I smile at him and take a deep breath as he walks away. I try to shove all the memories back where they were buried with no luck.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath willing all the trauma to disappear at least for an hour. I feel the presence of someone as they slide into the booth next to me. 

I open my eyes and see Grayson.

"Here I thought I would be the only one out for a late night drink." He says with a smirk his messy dirty blonde hair falling over his eyes. He studies my face for a while longer and his joking expression leaves.

"Oh Elle, what's wrong?"

"It's back again." I whisper and he pulls me into his side. Nobody knows about what happened except Grayson. 

Grayson personally beat the shit out of the person who did all this to me.

"It's okay, everything's okay. He's never going to hurt you again." I bury my face in the crook of his neck and try to hold back the tears. He kisses the top of my head and sets a twenty dollar bill on the table.

"Drive?" I nod my head and he gently leads me to his truck. His hand rests on my thigh and I rest my head on the glass watching the landscape change as we drive up to our spot. 

He backs up to the edge of the lake, and I climb around and sit on the truck bed. The full moon sparkles in the reflection of the still water, and the surrounding pine trees are humming with the creatures of the night.

Grayson sits right by my side and wraps an arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to him. He kisses the top of my head and rests his chin there.

"What're you thinking about?" He asks after a while. 

"Just how everything would be so different if I wasn't so stupid." He removes his head from the top of my and makes me look him in the eyes. 

"What do you mean?"

"It's just it's my fault. Everyone says it isn't, but it is. I could've listened to you when you said you had a bad feeling about the guy, I should've listened when even Gavin said he didn't like him, but I didn't I was so naive, and stupid, and wort-"

"Just stop. Right there. This, what happened is far from your fault. Sure there were suggestions, but those were just opinions from the people around you. In the end it was his choice to do all that to you, to you. You were not causing that for yourself. You were a victim. Elle, you need to stop blaming yourself, it's just going to eat you up until there's nothing left. And that can't happen, I won't let it happen."

It's too late, it already has

I feel my throat closing up, my vision getting blurry, my legs start to shake, my head is spinning and Grayson's voice is a thing of the distance as I spiral downward into a panic attack.