Castiel had every intention of saving Dean, every fiber of his being told him no, Don't hurt Dean. Don't hurt Dean. Don't hurt Dean.
He gripped the demon knife, his angel blade nowhere to be found.
"Don't make me do this...Dean," His voice cracking "P-please..." But Dean had made Cas promise to end him if he went darkside again, He remembers the ache those words left him with. He looked up at Dean, and the ache just blossomed all over again. His legs felt weak, as did his arms. The cold blade pressed hard against Dean's throat.
Dean smiled, and Cas loosened his grip, the knife barely pressed there now. Castiel tried to continue holding it there with shaky hands.
"Dean isn't home right now." The demon laughed, a throaty laugh that caused his shoulders to jut out. Castiel looked away from the demons eyes. The black abyss that settled there now was no match for the emerald green hiding behind. Dean was still there, he could hear him, see him, Cas knew.
"I can't hurt Dean.." It was barely a whisper.
I can't hurt my Dean.
He lowered the knife, dropping it. The loud clank of metal against concrete rang through the air.
Castiel could feel his legs collapsing, too emotionaly unstable to bare anymore weight.
This was it for him, this was it for Sam, Even Dean. This was the end of them all. Castiel couldn't help but think back to everything they had done together, Purgatory, the hunting, the talking, saving people, human things. Things he would never have again, things he would never feel again. This life for him was over.
He had failed the boys one last time.
He glanced over to what was left of Sam, his body laid strewn across the floor, in his own blood, oh the blood.
I'm going to miss you little Sammy, I tried for you, I really, really did.
"That's right Angel boy, Give it all up for one Human." The rough voice was so deep, discouraging, not dean. Its like Dean was barely there, a sliver of Dean seeping out through the void. Cas felt numb, he wished he had been able to do all the things he had never experienced; mostly Dean.
All for one human.
His human, his Dean.
The real Dean.
The 'it's 2 a.m. on Sunday, what do you mean its too late for pie???' Dean, The 'Stop baby'n me, it dont even hurt' Dean. The 'Don't scratch my Baby, you free-loader.' Dean.
The lopsided smile Dean. The ruffled hair mornings, Dean. Peircingly wounded features Dean. Fresh sheets every Wednesday Dean. 'Get your feet off of my dash,' Dean.
Freckles....
Dammit Cas!
Just playing through his head like a broken record.
Dean was like summer air, and Cas wished he had basked in it.
Cas suddenly regretted never falling into Dean's touch, he regretted being afraid of rejection. He regretted Leaving Dean to this fate. This is what he got for waiting to long.
He loved Dean.
Dean lifted Castiel almost effortlessly by his shoulders, shoving him into the wall. Alarms pounded in Dean's head, trying desperately to break through.
Castiel looked up one last time; The way Dean's lips parted, The soft skin of his cheeks, His emerald green-
Eyes, His eyes. The familiar color burned into his very being, sending shivers down his spine.
"C-Cas, " Deans voice barely a whisper. Dean's Eyes widened, Searching the sea of blue. Cas was all he could think about in that moment, the way his breathing faultered; he looked so afraid, so desperate. Oh How much he ached for Cas to feel safe, to feel okay.
Castiel brought has hand up, weakly but gently, cupping it to Dean's jaw. He rubbed his thumb against the stubble just above. "Hello Dean..."
Dean's lips crashed into his, hungrily at first, conforming into something much more gentle, making Cas whimper; melting into it. His weight shifted, and suddenly his feet landed on the floor, A wave of relief rushed into him. This was his Dean. This is what Cas wanted, This is what he had always wanted, just not in this situation. But he could taste the smoke, The revolting burn that erked his nerves.
Dean broke the kiss, staring into Cas' eyes. They were welled up with tears. Not everyday do you get to see an angel cry. Dean had done it, he had come back to Cas, His Cas.
They just stared for a moment, at each other. Blue searching Green like the sky falling to meet the earth. Castiel broke the silence,
"Dean I lo-" His words ended with a choke.
Pain, sharp pain shot through Castiel's chest. He looked down, whimpering. The angel blade burrowed deep inside of him.
"I'm s-sorry..." Cas whispered, his hand falling to his side, head slumping back.
How could he have been so stupid.
Alien Emotions rang through him, racking fear, and anger, but pain, mostly pain.
The black eyes that stared down on him burned to his very core. It was over now. It was all over.
Dean's eyes were welling up, Even through being possessed his emotions still showed through everything. Just like they always had. Beneath the curtain of smoke, the strongest man Cas had ever known began to break.
It isn't your fault Dean, I know that now,
Don't cry...
I don't blame you, I have never blamed you.
You've been my resort, even when I didnt want you to be.
From the moment I had met you, I knew.
I love you Winchester
Always
Tears Ran down Castiel's Face, putrid human emotions springing free.
A bright light jutted from within him, as his grace began to fade. It filled the room, cascading up the walls and across the cieling.
Everything was still for a moment, But it wasn't silent; The high pitched squeal filled the air.
The empty vessel lay across the concrete, next to Dean. The once bright blue eyes now a dull shade of gray.
The wing imprints were not the flat out marks you would've expected, They were rapped around Dean, In all of their glory.
This was the end of the angel. Dean's Angel.
Dean had always thought he was strong, strong enough to end this. But he couldn't even stop a pair of black eyes, He couldn't save Sammy, Castiel.
He couldn't do what he was put in this world to do. He couldn't even save himself. Words throbbed from within him, some spoken, some unrequited.
Everything Cas. Everything Sam.
I love you two the most, I really do.
He understood this would he the last time.
You can't save everyone my friend.
