Fairy In The Cold

Chapter Seven

Edward arrived hand in hand with Diaspro to the forest clearing. He kept glancing at his love, obviously nervous about something. It's been a long while since the party, and a lot has happened in that time. For one thing Alice had yet another vision involving Victoria. The problem with the angry redhead had gotten so out of proportion that the Cullens now had to involve the wolves. And finally Edward had to explain his history with Isabella Swan. All in the same night.

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The party was quickly shut down and everyone was ushered home. Now it was just Diaspro and Edward, alone in his room. He was hopping that his mate would never have to meet his mistakes, yet Bella stumbled into his life yet again. He didn't know what to say, he could tell Diaspro was shaken by the ordeal, he could see it in her eyes. She was looking at him but her eyes were distant, because in reality she wasn't really looking at him, she wasn't even there. Her thoughts had carried her somewhere.

Edward gently took Diaspro by the hands and sat her on the bed in his room. A recent gift from Emmett and Jasper. She was still silent, waiting for a very much deserved explanation.

Edward sighed and looked directly at his love. "Diaspro I think I should tell you about my ex, Isabella," Diaspro raised her perfect eyebrow as if saying he's already messed up with that brief sentence. "Our relationship was brief, barely lasting a year, but it was intense in ways that weren't okay. I obsessed with her in a way that disgusts me to think about, and she loved me to the point it was suffocating her life." Recalling the relationship opened up new revelations to Edward.

He was toxic, he was controlling, he was disgusting; and Diaspro deserved to know that.

"I was so taken by the thought, the very idea, that someone as pure as a human girl could love me despite knowing I kill to survive. It made me feel like I had a purpose, like I could be good, that I wasn't dammed." Edward looked away from Diaspro a while ago, he didn't want to see her reaction, he didn't want to watch the love fade from her eyes. She'd been so quiet he knew his words were truly sinking in.

"I was obsessed with the thought that after so long, I could be loved as myself, as a monster. When certain things had happened between Bella and I, I reacted like a fool." Edward could feel himself shake and quiver, he couldn't see straight from the tears clouding his eyes. Tears that would never fall, even if he was about to. He still had Diaspro's hands clutched between his own, too scared she'd pull away.

"When Jacob Black pursued his feelings towards Bella, I knew I'd lose her, and that frightened me, it angered me. I grew so jealous of someone that I knew I didn't stand a chance against. If I were still human my eyes would have been greener than an emerald." By now Edward was hunched over, holding their joined hands to his forehead. His body was shaking violently at this point from his sobs that had crept up in silence.

"It was Bella's birthday the last time we were together romantically. We had the party right in this very house at Alice's insistence. That night, everything went to hell." Edward tearfully laughed at the memory. Everything came back as the floodgates opened and he couldn't hold anything back anymore.

"Bella was opening presents, and she cut her finger in the process. One human girl in a room of seven vampires with a papercut; you can already know it didn't end well. I decided that for Bella's sake, for my family's sake, it was best to end the relationship indefinitely." Diaspro had been so quiet that his fears kept growing till they were a pit in his stomach, and it felt like it was eating him alive.

"I was in such a hole that I left my family, I traveled different places, I didn't want to drag anyone with me, I didn't want anyone else to feel my pain." Edward could remember those months away vividly. In some way it was comforting to be alone, truly alone. But at the same time, it was a torture he didn't want to go through again.