Johnlock One-Shots

Emotions

( John likes Sherlock, Sherlock likes John- John isn't gay and Sherlock doesn't have emotions... Or that's what they both think )
Warnings- Depression
happy ending tho...and kissing
Sherlocks PoV

'Hydrogen and Methane Gas- John' . I must be going insane. I'm trying to work out a new case and all that I can seem to think about is John. Wonderful, smart, adorable John. The same John that lives with me, the same John that I can't have. John has a girlfriend. He would never love me. Worthless, unloved, freak. It hurts to say that I, Sherlock Holmes, am Depressed. I have been for around a year. Working on idiotic cases just to try and never let myself be alone with my thoughts. I'm living in a constant fear precious John will find my medication. Or I loose my medication... I can't cope without it. Any shred or normal ness comes from that one tablet , and without it I will be stripped down to a mess of tears, screaming, and i will inevitably end up alone.

I've locked myself in my room again, I'm down to the last two tablets and I can't help but feel the emotions come back, flooding over me- drowning me. I let out a choked sob, trying to be quiet , and locked my door. Shutting out my only love. John had spent the week with Clara, his latest 'bit on the side'. She's beautiful and funny, everything I fail to be. I can hear John whistling to himself as the kettle is boiling- why can I never feel this happiness? Am I doomed to this never ending blackness? I can feel the tears now, the medication is running out. No case, nothing to occupy my mind. I locked my mind palace, and let everything, all emotions, drown me. Laying under the covers, a man made warmth. I clutch my hair, silently crying into my pillow. Legs curled up, I tried to be as quiet as possible.

Johns Pov -

Like any other day, the flat was silent. I had spent a week with Clara. A dull girl, only thing she was good for was making tea and comforting me about how Sherlock will never love me. I told people she was my girlfriend, hiding the fact I am a 'raging homosexual'. Making two cups of tea, I come to the door I have become too used to- closed. Giving the door three quiet knocks " Sherlock I made tea" , I tried the door handle. Locked. " John I am busy, leave" A quiet voice replied

"Sherlock the tea will go cold, unlock the door you prick" I was only joking, but my hearing managed to pick up a quiet sob. Sherlock is crying? " Sherlock I don't know what is up with you, but if you don't let me in I will pick this god damn lock" I spoke loudly. Another sob.

Sherlocks Pov-

Oh no, he can't come in, he can't see me like this. I quickly wiped my eyes, straightened my shirt and took a few quiet breaths. The emotions wouldn't stop, i knew John would notice. " Right I'm coming in" John was turning the lock now, oh shit. I tried to turn my emotions off, make me not feel the pain, it wouldn't work. The door quickly opened and in came a confused looking John. A John that would never belong to me. Sadness swept over me and I could feel the emotions weighing me down; I fell to the floor, my knees locking beneath me. John was quick to rush over to me, dropping to his knees in front of me. Not mine. I sobbed, the tears rushing out. Years of keeping this all in was quickly seeming to be a bad idea as I felt every single pent up emotion flood out of me. John gathered me into his arms, quietly shushing me, rocking me back and forth. Never will be mine.

Johns Pov-

Sherlock. Sherlock. Sherlock.
All I could think was Sherlock. This brilliant man, this broken man. This was the first time he has appeared Human. I cradled him in my arms, bringing his fear filled face to my neck, letting him nuzzle into me. God, I love him so much. " John John John John" He was hysterical, mumbling into my shoulder, the tears wouldn't stop. " Sherlock, Love, what's wrong" I couldn't help myself but call him love. If I can't share my love with him, I will call him it. " I don't *hiccup*- I don't want to be alone anymore" Sherlock clutched onto me. Alone? He will ever be alone if I'm here. " Sherlock you are not alone, I am here, and always will be" I ground out, pulling him back to look him in the eyes. Grey stormy eyes, clouded over with sadness. " You will never be alone because I" I broke off, taking in a deep breath. It's now or never. " I - I love you Sherlock, and I always have" I whispered.

Sherlocks Pov-

He loves me? He has to be lying. Who would ever love me. I guess he sensed the doubt because soon after he was grabbing me by the hand me taking me to my bed, laying my back and then straddling me. My heart was racing. I just want to kiss him. He would never kiss me. " Sherlock Holmes you are the most beautiful man I have ever met. Every time you look at me I have to try to not kiss you. You're amazing, you are my one and only life line and I would die without you. You're my true love. I love you so much" He looked deeply into my eyes, his hands stroking up and down my arms.
John...does love me? I felt all the emotions drain out of me, fast, leaving only one. Love. I looked up at him. Blue, magnificent eyes baring down into mine. I cast my gaze to his lips, cocking my head to the side and smiling up at John. I wiped my tears away quickly. " Prove it" I whispered, please kiss me. I need him. He is the light to my darkness. I need this man.

Johns Pov-

I smiled lovingly down at him. His eyes fluttered down to my lips. " Prove it". oh trust me, I'd be happy to.
With one last smile, I bit my lip nervously. I lent down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Only keeping them there for around 3 seconds before coming back up slightly. " Say you love me to" I whispered, God hope he feels the same way. " I love you John, you're my everything and you are not some chemical defect, you are my soulmate", with a big grin to my face I quickly lent down to capture his lips on mine, slowly moving my lips against his. His lips were soft, slowly puckering against mine. Ecstasy . He softly caressed my hair, carefully pulling my head down, deepening the kiss. I could feel my body heating up, and my brain turned to mush. He softly ran his fingers down my back. He cheekily grinned against my lips before he ran his fingers over my butt before pulling my lower waist down. Grinding us together, I let out a breathy moan. This was going to be the best night ever.