She'd been imprisoned in every way. She couldn't even think to take a step out of place. She had disappeared into the furthest shadow of her mind to escape and conceded to the man who had ruined her.
Submission had been forced onto her until she...
Days pass by me one after another. My body wastes away following the whims of a mad man. Even myself in the way that I exist seems to be withering. I can't seem to remember who I am. Grimm once told me to forget who I was before and I guess I did.
I watch my body as it lays silently. This is all it does when it does not have his instructions. I watch it and try to think of something good.
Sometimes, I'll remember something really nice and think about it until I can't anymore. When you think about the same thing for a long time the memory starts to warp until it isn't real anymore and, I have no way of knowing what is real.
There's a face somewhere though. It's buried deep in me. I know it's a woman and I know I loved her. Might as I try I can never see her. I'll remember a flash of her hair as she pins up laundry on lines to dry. I'll try to hold to the smell of the warm spring air. How the air smelled of fruit and greenery and bright things that we're yet to come. But, the more I hold to her the less I see her.
Sometimes, it's her eyes crinkled in laughter or maybe in tears. I'm so sure I can see them but, I do not know their color.
It all makes me feel desperately lonely. Sometimes I make things up for myself, or at least I think I do. I'm not sure of what's real anymore.
I like to imagine I have a friend. She is a little girl I named her for light and dawn. She is wonderful in every way she can be. She is my hope. She is so real to me I think I could reach out and touch her.
She looks like me but, in a way that's young and unbroken. She says nothing but, she does besides me. Sometimes I think she wants to speak but, something stops her.
I watch as my body gets up readying itself to go greet Grimm at the door. It falls as soon as its feet hit the ground. Still, it manages to drag itself to the door.
It's a long while before the door opens to reveal my tormentor. My broken body smiles up at him.
"Oh pet", he coos, "can you not stand anymore?".
"No master", it says.
"But you still came to greet me?", he asks.
"Yes, master", it says.
He grins widely down at it, "you are such a good girl pet".
"Thank you master".
"You know I rather like you crawling around like this", he says, "don't you think it suits you?".
"Yes, master", it says.
"Oh you love being my pet don't you?", he asks.
"Yes, master".
He smiles, "I knew you would". He drags my body to the bed before throwing it down.
"Now after tonight's performance, I have some very special news for you alright?", he says.
"Yes, master".
The night goes as it normally goes and I choose to ignore it and sit with my thoughts. The little girl looks back at me. What color are her eyes? Sometimes I think they are brown like my own. Other times they are golden as his are. Maybe they're a mix between the two. I picture them as a rich amber. I think that color fits her best.
Grimm finally finishes with my body. It lays there a broken bloodied mess, even more so than before. The spark has long since disappeared from its eyes. It is nothing more than a vessel for this man's lust and rage. He is mad.
"As I was saying before I have something very special planned for you", he says.
"Yes, master?".
"There are these two packs I'm at war with at the moment", he says, "and I want to put on a little show for them, do you think you could help me with that?".
"Yes, master", he grins widely at its words.
"Very good", he says, " be ready for travel tomorrow morning".
I don't know or care about whatever that means. I turn my attention back to the girl as he dresses. She stares back at me just as unwavering. That's all I do all night and before I know it the morning comes. My body goes to greet him but, I pay it no mind. He tosses me a change of clothes which I quickly put on.
He takes me from the room a drags me outside. My knees scrape on the gravel path as we go. It's the first time I've been outside in a long while. I wonder how long. I try to will myself to ask him how long he's kept me but, my mouth refuses to me. There is a thorough divide between myself and my physicality. Do I have any control of myself anymore?
I sigh choosing to ignore the issue. I decide to just enjoy being outside. The day is new and the sun had only just started to peek over the horizon. The sky is a lovely pale blue that could only belong to such a moment. No replications could ever be made of its glory. There are only thin wisps of clouds adorning the sky. The air is still and thick with morning dew which dampens the fallen leaves underfoot. The beautiful day speaks no warning of what lies ahead of me.
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