Alive

Revolations

TW: Murder discussion, Homophobia, Homophobic hate crime descriptions, electroshock therapy, cursing

I sit cross-legged on the unwashed beige of my mattress, looking at the floor, hoping that maybe if I stare into it’s cold concrete, I’ll appear in my bedroom again. My mother is meant to be coming in to have a talk with Mr Tondene today.

Zariah and I haven't spoken much these last few days, we've been too busy trying not to go crazy. I'll also get to find out what electroshock therapy is today. So, that'll be fun, I'm sure.

She sits on the bunk below me, reading a book. I think it's Dickens. Climbing down the ladder, I lean against a wall and face her.

She turns the page, and then looks up to me.

"Do your p-parents know?" I ask, suddenly curious.
She chuckles with a bit of a nervous undertone, creasing the corner of her book im a damaging way that'd 100% make Logan cringe.

"Yeah.. My dad walked in on me and Lizzie cuddling. He threatened to kill her and everything; chased her out of the house with a knife. Pretty intense." Zariah looks to the floor absentmindedly, as if remembering it.

I nod. Well, atleast that's never happened to me. I can't even imagine that. Her Dad tried to kill her girlfriend.

Her Dad tried to kill her girlfriend.

Her Dad wanted to kill Janus' sister.

"How long before the fire was this again?"

She replies quickly, offhandedly. "A few days. That was of the last times I saw her actually."

Then her eyes widen. "Oh my God."

Her dad. Her dad. He did it. She looks out the window, then back to me in the span of a few seconds. "Well, shit."

I look to her, awestruck. "How did you f-fail to make that connection?!"

"I don't know! I was greif-stricken!"
"Oh m-my God."

"Well, what are we meant to do with this information?"
"When d-did you last speak to your D-dad?"

She furrows her eyebrows in concentration. "I mean, he got me admitted here for liking other girls. That was about a month after the funeral. He hasn't visited."
"You've been here for that long?"

She's telling me she's been at this hospital since around when I was first admitted to Sanders? That's literally so long. I suddenly feel really bad for her. She's had to do this everyday for like half a year? And for what?

"They just can't seem to cure me, I guess."

We sit in silence for a little while. "I need to s-speak to Janus."
"How are we gonna do that? Is he not hiding from execution?"
"Remus."
"Who?"

"This boy, we- we met him at the l-last hospital we were a-at. They're really c-close. Constantly in c-contact. I have to get him here."

She nods.
"Maybe you can get him to visit." She brethes in. "I'm sorry, Virgil. I mean it."
"Why?"
"For, yknow, accusing Janus, attacking you, making you out yourself."

I nod, forgiving her internally but not saying it out loud.

Knock, knock.
"Virgil Blair? Your mother is, uh, wanting to speak with you." The voice of a random nurse calls through the door. I scrunch my nose up, cringing.

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At this moment, I've been left in a small, out of use office while my mother finishes speaking to Mr Tondene. My right leg is bouncing rapidly, and my hands are shaking. I've never asked her how she feels about this kind of thing. Will she be angry? I know father would be. Will be, when he finds out.