Alek

Chapter 20: Alek Russo

Chapter 20: Alek Russo

(listen to Another Love by Tom Odell for a better experience!)

She saved my brother.

Mae Kazimi saved my brother but then I lost him anyway.

Now, as I stand in the middle of a road, soaking to my bones, my head swings sharply to the right and I feel pain shoot through my nose.

Damnit, not my nose again.

I stop her next punch with my hand as I feel something wet on my upper lip and the taste of metal in my mouth.

"Not my fucking nose!" I snap, shoving her hand away as she glares angrily at me under the rain. Rain soaks her face, dampening her hair and lashes. Water streaks down her smooth skin and suddenly I want to do nothing but drown myself in the water.

"You think it's funny to be abandoned by your own family?" she asks, pulling out her knife. "I'll tell you all about it while you choke on your own blood in the middle of this fucking street!"

I dodge her attempt to stab me and pull my own knife out.

I am angry and she's angry and the rain is soaking us to our very core. But I don't fucking care.

Three years. I've wasted three fucking years chasing the wrong person. I've uselessly pushed my anger and hatred towards someone who hadn't even committed the murder. I'd wasted hours, days and even fucking months just planning Mae's death, and in the end, it wasn't even her.

I don't know why I believe her, but I do. That moment when Matteo dropped dead onto the floor, I'd ignored my surroundings and I hadn't cared about anything but my brother who bled out onto the floor and his lifeless hands clutching mine. I hadn't had time to fucking care about my surroundings. I had been on my knees, begging Matteo to open his eyes. I'd been begging him to not leave me alone, to fulfill his promise and stay with me.

"They didn't want you," I taunt, almost tripping over my feet as the rain weighs me down. "No one wants you."

She looks tired but she continues to advance on me and I have to remind myself who she is.

She's Shadow.

She's Shadow.

The loud and obnoxious girl who spoke too much. The girl who tried to blend in and make everyone believe she belonged. The girl who fought for a better life for herself, the girl who slit throats with the very knife she holds in her hands.

She was right. She is not a nobody. But I would rather die than say this to her face.

"Your father hates you," I breathe heavily as she hits my chest with the hilt of her knife, "your mother hates you," she hits me again, "your brother hates you."

"And I hate you," She snarls in my face and then her foot slips and I'm falling on top of her.

I stop my fall halfway and she stops herself with her left hand. She pulls me down with her and then we are fighting on the wet road, struggling as our clothes weigh us down and hands slip on the hilts of our knives.

"Why do you keep going?" I grit my teeth as I pin her down. She's exhausted and yet she continues to fight, trying to kick at me with her legs. "Why do you keep going when you know there's no one waiting for you at the end of it? Who are you fighting for?"

"For myself!" she cries, head hitting the concrete as she looks up into the sky, choking on tears. "For Avery, for Rashid, for Kai and for Hale! They're my family! Just like Lorenzo's yours!"

Lorenzo. Diego. The only people in this world I'd die for and a sense of security wraps around my heart and squeezes.

I don't know why I say the words that come out of my mouth, but I'm angry and I want her to feel pain. I want her to hurt like I've hurt all my life.

And so, I say it. I say what will hurt her the most.

"You should've died from the cold in the fucking dumpster," I whisper into her ear as rain pounds on my back. "I wish you did. Everyone wishes you did."

She blinks, gasping as I climb off of her, kicking her knife far away from her hands and leaving her on the deserted road, laying on her back. I don't look back as I limp towards Matteo's car. I walk and walk until I stop beside it and pull open the door.

And then realize I'm soaking wet. And if I get in the car, Matteo's car will be soaking wet.

He'll never forgive me.

And so, I turn and make my way down the sidewalk. I walk and walk until I collapse from pain and exhaustion at the side of a long bridge, back leaning against the long rods. Through the gaps, I can see the crashing of the waves below and for a second, I wonder what would happen if I jumped.

But what's the point of me being alive? I've caused nothing but pain and I've hurt people. I've killed and I've tortured. There's nothing waiting for me at the end of this all. My future has nothing but more suffering. I will either die with the amount of assassins after me, or I'll either take my father's position. What happens then? I'll have no choice but to continue my father's work because there is no way in hell would I hand it down to Lorenzo. No. No, I would give him what Matteo wanted to give me.

A life.

And this means I have to live. Live. I can't let Lorenzo go through the pain of losing his brother all over again.

I stand up, looking down at the water below the bridge. It's an awfully long way down, and the longer I stare at it, the more inviting it becomes.

God, I've been so stupid. I've done so many stupid things.

I look up to the sky, and as I stand there with my eyes closed and rain pouring down from the sky, I hear Mae's voice in my head.

How are you going to live if you care about looking stupid all the time? Everyone has something to live for, you know. No matter how stupid it is. They just have to find it.

I use her words as fuel to turn around and begin to make my way back to where I'd left Mae on the wet ground. As I walk, I tap my hand thrice over and over, reminding myself of my brothers, of Diego. I walk and walk under the pouring rain and don't stop. I don't stop walking even when the rain slows and the cold begins to make me shiver.

I walk and walk.

And for once in my life, I am thankful. I am thankful for the rain as it hides tears on my cheeks and I pray that at the end of all of this, there is light.

And if not for me, then for the girl who I left behind on the road who is desperately fighting for what she wants. And I pray that at the end of all of this, at least one of us gets the happy ending we are hoping for.

And then, I keep walking. 

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WHY ARE THESE CHAPTERS SO FUKING SHORT LMAOAO

this is my last straw im going to make one chapter like 50 pages now idc

like and subscribe tf u looking at hurry up and click the button

just kidding pls do it