Alek

Chapter 49: Mae Kazimi

Chapter 49: Mae Kazimi

The clouds are heavy above us, dark and angry as they cast their large shadows, engulfing us in darkness. And yet, I do not feel a drop of water from where I stand, far away as I can from the crowd that surrounds the two graves in the graveyard.

First Matteo, the eldest. The guard.

Next...Alek, the middle. The Watcher.

And Lorenzo, the youngest. The brains.

The three Russo brothers who loved so hard and lost everything. The brothers who sacrificed everything for each other. The brightest flowers in a garden full of thorny roses. The brightest colors in a world made of darkness.

People are trickling away, and I stay. I watch as one person leaves, and then another, and then another.

Another.

Another.

We are all dressed in black, clutching purses in shaky hands and folding arms over a beating chest.

But the brothers before us no longer have what we have.

Life.

I bring my palm to my chest to feel my heartbeat. I let my cold palms touch my skin, letting my hands remain there for a few moments.

Thump. Thump.

Thump.

Thump. Thump.

Thump.

I stand there, a few feet away from all of their graves, staring and staring and staring. What now? What should I do now? Why aren't I crying? Why aren't I tearing up? Why is there so much pain but it won't come out? I

I want to scream. I want to bash someone's head. I want to take a hammer and smash everything and anything that my eyes land on.

I feel like dying.

Was there perhaps a way to trade one life for three? A foul evil life for the pure light of three?

I am the only one left, standing before their graves now. My hands are in my pockets, my baggy pants and large sweater are the only comforts I have. I read the headstones over and over until I've memorized them and then I close my eyes and repeat them one by one inside my head.

Matteo.

Alek.

Lorenzo.

The three lives I've ruined. The three lives I've perished. The three boys gone from this earth. Three lives that deserved more than mine did.

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen," I say loudly, not caring whether anyone heard me or not. "I didn't want to hurt any of you."

The wind rustles as if to comfort me. As if to say, we know.

But do they know? Do they know the truth? Do they truly know what I want to tell them? All the things I keep inside my heart?

"You were all supposed to live," I swallow, looking down at the grass that brushes against my shoes. "And if I could switch places with all three of you, I would. I swear I would."

It doesn't matter now, does it? They can't hear me. They don't know what I'm saying. And it doesn't matter because they are already long gone. They are with their mother now, safe I hope. They are no longer surrounded by the darkness of this world. They are finally together, the one thing they'd always wanted.

But Alek's body had never been found. There was no way he could have survived, and if Khari has his body, I want it back. I'm going to get his body back and make sure he gets the rest he deserves. I'm not going to sleep until his body is safe, until I've punished Khari for stealing whatever was left of him from me, for making me hunt him down.

For causing me more pain.

I feel a cool hand wrap around my arm and a blond head rest on my shoulder. Avery sighs loudly as she clutches to me, staring at their graves with me. Kai and Rashid join us, standing beside us in their black tuxedos, face solemn. Hale stands to the left, sorrowful eyes gazing on the children he raised. The children he'd shaped.

"They would understand if you told them," Avery promises, voice quiet. "Don't beat yourself up."

Three brothers who'd given up their lives for my family.

The three siblings who'd died so mine could live.

"It's not fair," I said, voice cracking.

Kai grabs my other hand and we hold tight, all four of us. The four misfits of New York. The unwanted children in the dangerous streets. The forgotten children of many in America, left to fend for ourselves.

We'd grown up together. Fought against each other and fought with each other. Held onto one another when we couldn't hold onto ourselves. Saved each other from death situations. Laughed together. Cried together.

Together.

We'd done so much together. We'd lived together, side by side. We'd looked over the world and taken over it together. We'd closed our eyes and trusted each other because we were more than just blood. We were bonds, unbreakable and strong.

But so were Matteo, Alek and Lorenzo. They were just like us, the three of them. They loved each other as much as we did. They relied on each other as much as we did. They were human.

"They would understand," Rashid whispers, eyes downcast.

They would understand.

I don't want them to understand. I want them to be alive.

"We'll see them again, don't worry, Mae," Kai flicks my cheek. "It'll be a little awkward at first, but they can't hate you forever."

I huff a laugh and feel Avery smiling on my arm. I don't know where I would be without them. Helpless and lost, walking in darkness and searching for light.

They were the fire that led me through the darkness. Burning so bright they gave me strength.

Hale smiles and I smile back. There is a strange pride in his eyes. A comfort.

"Thank you," I say to all of them. Especially to Hale. "Thank you."

Hale joins us where we are, and we stand there, for so long I lose count. Minutes, hours. It feels like days. But it's the least we can do after what we've done to them. For all the hurt we've caused.

The angry clouds begin to slowly crawl away above us, bright light shining down onto us, making the headstones glint in the light. I promise myself to visit them every day, to come here and make sure they are never lonely nor forgotten. To make sure I tell them everyday how I am making up for my mistakes. To tell them where I am in life. What I'm doing. How sorry I am. My daily schedule. My latest kill. My new job. How much I want to see them.

And every time, it might hurt more than the last. Or it will hurt less.

But I don't care.

And as I stand there with my family, clutching their hands and looking down at the Russo brothers who sacrificed so much for freedom and love, I swear an unbreakable vow. A promise. A pledge.

I will never forget you, I tell them. I will not.

It's a promise, an unbreakable one. But I'm an oathbreaker, almost the worst. But this is one I will never break.

Because this is not the last I will see of the Russo's.

It will not.

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one last chapter left.......

thoughts rn or else ----->

posting this when my chem test about to start in 3 minutes shaking so hard and throwing up pls send help im so scared i need to have above 95 for chem i cant do this anymore hanging on by the last thread

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