the mold-soot family lore

falling apart

@Cherry_2009 WROTE THIS AND OML ITS SO GOOD AHHH

ANYWAYS ENJOY SOME CHERRY AND NESTORIO LORE

Cherry's POV: 

Jealousy. That's the only thing that is on my mind, all the time. Ever since my own biological mother adopted my siblings. She doesn't even know how many kids she has now, I don't even think she knows which are her biological kids anymore. My only two biological siblings are busy, too busy, and didn't even have time for me. I preferred us when we were younger, my sister teaching me how to fight, my brother bullying me all the time, my mother spending time with the family, just the four of us. But now there's more than 10, 20 perhaps. I now have nieces, nephews, sisters-in-laws, brother-in-laws, and there's me, alone.I've never met my dad, I don't think we even have one, my mother just carries the entire family on their back, like a true mother she is. The family is kind, fun, entertaining, but too crowded. My nieces and nephews are dating people now, some even having kids. I'm just here, with no one to help me. 

 I had someone that always wants my attention, talks to me, the one that made me feel happy, and now they're gone. I still miss them, I still feel guilty, for not being even a decent mother. I have a fiancé, Nestorio, he loves me, and I love him, it's just my social anxiety, my guilt for my child, my depression, my stress and pressure, all pulling me down. I feel he doesn't even like me anymore, he doesn't love me like he used to. It's all different now.I used to be special, the one with a skill, and I showed it to my family, I made it my career. Now there's someone better than me, my own family member, getting more attention for something I always did. She did it once, twice, thrice, and she still gets more attention than I ever had. They did praise me for what I did, but I feel she did it better.

I've taken a break from my teaching career for more than a week now. The students probably hate me now, my siblings, 3 of them are still doing well in the school. I tried my best to go back there, but I feel they can do it all on their own, no need for me to be there and be useless. I should probably resign. 

My mother cried in front of me before, when my grandparent died. I feel like I didn't know them enough, but I knew that my mother did, of course. I wish I could comfort her, but I didn't know how, so I just stood there, staring, thinking of how I could help, but I just couldn't, there's no way that I could. I just stood there, with my biological siblings comforting my mother. Soon enough, out of overthinking, I cried as well. Not from my grandparent's death, but from the fact that I was too useless and couldn't comfort the person that needed comfort. I prepared to say "I'm fine" to whoever came up to me, but I didn't. I didn't say I'm fine, because no one came to comfort me as well. 

There's people that died in the family, my grandparent, my sister-in-law, my niece, my own adopted sister, and my child, my only child. I never adopted anyone else after her death, because I told her that I wouldn't adopt another child and she would be my only one. And I kept that promise, and always will. But after seeing my relatives adopting one person after another, all different personalities, I did consider it. But I couldn't break my promise with my child, Script. 

 Nestorio's POV: 

When I proposed to Cherry, that was the last time I saw her smile like that. Then never again. We didn't really plan our wedding, we weren't ready for that as well, so we agreed to stay as fiancés for a while.  

Now Cherry is getting worse, day by day, she's getting eye bags, she doesn't even care about anyone anymore, not even me. I wish I could help her, but she always locks herself in her room, every day. Every time I try to talk with her, she only gives me a wave, and a little smile, then back to her room, like I didn't even try to talk with her. 

 I sometimes peek in her room, to see what she's doing. And it's always messy haired, crumpled papers everywhere, and she is still practicing drawing. I do understand why, ever since a family member came, and showed her drawings to the family, she got envious, jealous maybe. And also when she lost her child, Script, I knew who they were, but they didn't know who I was, until a few days before they went missing. 

 She blames herself, more than she should. For losing her child, a family member being better than her at art, for not feeling part of the family, for "being useless", etc. 

 Every time she looks at me, I see the sadness in her eyes, and I know she thinks that I don't love her anymore, but I still do. 

I talked to her family multiple times, their good people, but every time I came to visit, I noticed the family is getting more people. More than the previous visit, and even more than the first visit. I talked to her siblings and mother about her mental state, and they said that they noticed as well, but didn't know what was going on. 

 I remember when we met, and how. But that story is for another day.

 I really hope that she comes out one day, so we can actually help her, but I feel that it's not going to be soon, nor later.