the mold-soot family lore

you betrayed me

ONCE AGAIN THIS IS THE WRITING OF @Cherry_2009 AND JUST WOW LIKE IM ACTUALLY IN LOVE /p

Cora's POV: 

I should've expected this.

My father, my own father, the one who made me realize what being a child is like, the one that made me happy. Betrayed me. In the worst way possible. 

He adopted other children. He married a person, and didn't ask nor even told me. I left for a trip, I left for only a month, we knew each other for years, and in those times, that one month, he betrayed me.

I wanted to make him proud, I wanted to learn what other places were like. And I came back home, meeting with betrayal. 

Ever since as a child, I never felt anything, sadness, anger, happiness, guilt, fear, anything at all, but that doesn't mean I don't feel pain, see, and hear things. 

It's like my emotions didn't exist, until one after another after another!

I thought I was the only one, I thought he was loyal, I thought he wouldn't do things that'll betray me.

Well a kid can dream. 

I wish I could run away, I wish I could feel things, I wish that we were like before.

No more waiting for a sign now.

He married a person by the name of Tulip. They were kind, sweet, caring, generous, like a true parent. Until the incident, where they were no longer in this world, and I was 8. 

Sadness filled me for the first time. I cried and cried, even when I was 8. I knew what death was, I knew that the parent that I love, will not come back.

I got new siblings after that incident. Many, actually.

I wasn't there, in fact I was studying, out of the country. I wanted to have a great career, so I could help my dad with bills, taxes, funds etc. I came back a month or so later, it wasn't that long was it?

Wrong. 

I stepped into the house, went upstairs, to find my room wasn't even my room anymore, in fact it was two other people's rooms now. 

 I was confused, and went in. To find my dad, with two random kids, playing board games. I thought it was a few new relatives, but it was in fact my siblings that I didn't know existed. 

Betrayer. I thought. 

Traitor. I saw. 

Why, how. I asked.

And I got no answer.

I got into a fight with my father, then ran to a random room. Luckily with no one in there, and I cried, I cried just like when my mother died. That's when I first felt anger and hatred. And I hated it. 

Few days later, I saw him come back with another woman, who I immediately felt hatred for. Another one, another kid. My attention from him was getting less and less, each kid by each kid. Even though he said I was his favorite, I doubted it, higher than I ever felt.

My life fell during a day that I can remember like it was yesterday. It was a Tuesday, almost everyone was at work. I was at the kitchen grabbing a snack, then the woman came up to me, introduced themself as "Nightmare", I then ignored her just like the rest of the kids. She thought I was rude and said: 

"You're not supposed to treat your parent like that." 

That's when my heart shattered, my life crumbled down, like an earthquake.

I remembered my father promising my parent that he will not replace them nor love another person. Oh that aged well. 

Nightmare was sarcastic, entertaining, funny, generous, and caring. She is not like my parent, neither is my parent like her. 

She is a good mother, to my other siblings perhaps. I'm sure that she will be a good mother to me as well, if only I didn't remember my first mother.

 When my father came back home, I immediately confronted him, piling him with questions. He said he wanted another parent figure for me when he's not home, but I wanted Tulip. 

Nightmare did nothing wrong, but why was I angry? Why did I hate her? Why don't I like her? 

Questions fill my mind every day, non-stop. 

 "Why can't you be a dick? Why must you be so nice? It's hard for me to move on, when I don't really hate you." -Perfume by Lovejoy. 

That's a lyric I relate to, every day. 

I just hope this ends quickly.