Brooklyn-
I looked over at Jordan as he was nodding his head to the beat. After driving about 15 minutes, we pulled over to the rocky path. He drove down it and then I saw this gorgeous waterfall.
“Oh my-“I didn’t even finish my sentence.
“I know. It’s extravagant right?” I nodded, sitting there looking like a retarded seal.
“Come on. That’s not it.” He jumped out of the car and I followed suit. He led me to the side of it. There was a long log set up down the side of the waterfall. I gawked at it for like two minutes. The scene was gorgeous. I sat down on the log and smiled big. Jordan sat next to me.
“This is one of my favorite places.”
“I bet. It’s amazing.” I said. I looked at him.
“Yeah. I come here to let everything out. I would bring Sarah here all the time.”
“Sarah?”
“My little sister. She died last year.” I heard the way his voiced cracked.
“I lost my mom last year. She was the one person who I loved more than life itself.”
“How did she pass?”
“Bone cancer.” I felt tears welling up in my eyes. There was something about Jordan that made me feel comforted, like I could open up about everything.
“Sarah was hit by a car.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“I’m sorry to hear about you mom.. It seems like you two were closer than peanut butter and jelly.” I laughed when he said that.
“Truth is.. she was the peanut butter to my jelly.”
“Sarah was the ice cream to my cone.” We laughed and at I looked at him, he looked at me and smiled. I completely changed what I thought about Jordan.
“You know, I’m glad to get this out with someone. I’ve held it in for so long.” Jordan said after things got a little awkward because we were just looking at each other.
“I feel you.” He nodded.
“Want to go for a swim?” I shook my head no.
“Oh no. I don’t have a bathing suit.”
“And?”
“Ummm… I am way too big for that.”
“Brooklyn, you’re not big. You’re… curvaceous.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.” He said. I smiled at him.
“Thanks. But maybe next time.”
“Understandable.” I nodded.
“Um. Do you think we could leave. I need to go home and do some things. If you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.”
I got home after Jordan dropped me off and I thanked him. I grabbed the latest letter I wrote to my mom. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun and headed back out the door. I drove to the cemetery and parked on the road close to my mom’s grave. I sat next to it.
“Mom. Hey. I’ve missed you. I actually want to sing to you today. Your favorite song. Here you go mom.”
“Father can you hear me, we need your love today. I know that you are listening, you hear men every day. Father please hear us and we will be ok, father we need you to heal families today.” I stopped singing and prayed to god for strength. “God, I came to you today for strength to move on past my mother’s death. I know she’s there with you and your both watching over me. But I can’t do this by myself. It’s hard, very hard. I need your hands to continue to guide me through this.”
I continued singing my mom’s favorite song, “Father can you hear me. I'm calling on your name. Not Buddha or Muhammad but it's Jesus we cry out loud. Father just forgive us; Hear us when we say we’ll give ya, give ya, give you everything our lives and souls today. Father you know we need it, I've never seen so much pain. We have the faith for now, your victory we will gain. Father you know we mean it. There no more heart of stone, were ready for your power. Now the sin is gone.” I swear I could hear my mom singing with me. This warmed me completely. She hasn’t left my side and neither has God. I felt 110 percent better knowing they are still watching out for me.
“Mom, I miss you so much. And I love you even more. I promise with everything I have, I will never let you down. Because you mean the world to me and I never ever want you to feel like you’ve lost your daughter. You haven’t and you never will. I will see you again soon mom. That’s a promise. But only on God’s terms. See you soon.” And with that I hopped back in my car and went back home.
A few tears slipped my eyes but they were tears of happiness, even though she’s not here, she’s always with me. I went home and quickly went to my room. I ignored Abby’s hateful comments and I pulled my cell phone out. I dialed Jordan’s number.
“Hello.” It sounded like he just woke up.
“Did I wake you?”
“It’s fine. What’s up?”
“Sarah, she’s here with you no matter what. She’s watching out for you and she will always have your back.”
“Where is this coming from?” He laughed.
“No, I’m serious. I just went to my mom’s grave. They are still with us Jordan.”
“I know this.”
“Good. But we also need each other.”
“I’m glad you feel like this. I feel God put us in this path for a reason. We have to be each other’s rocks.”
“Agreed. Okay well see you tomorrow Jordan. Good night.”
“Night Brooklyn.” And with that we ended our calls. I hopped in the shower feeling like my heart was being mended a little piece at a time. Progress. That’s all that went through my head. I was finally making progress.
I’m so proud of you honey. Never forget, your momma’s here no matter what. I love you. I let my mom’s voice fill my head as I smiled and finished my warm shower.
***
I like this chapter you guys. What did you think??
