It was a dark and stormy night and Salami is home alone in her big bills mansion. Salami is doing her meth homework in the living room. She sighed and said, "I fucking hate this place". A huge thunderbolt hits a tree next to the big bills mansion. She shrieked and yelled, "What the fuck was that?!?!". All of a sudden someone knocks on the door. She turns and looks at the door and says, "Who's there?". The person on the other side of the door responded with, "Your mother". Salami went to open the door and there was someone dressed up as a cough drop. The cough drop said, "Would you like a cough drop miss girl" in a creepy tone. Salami screams, "NO!" and like an idiot she runs into the bathroom. The cough drop cosplayer stomped all the way to the bathroom. In a desperate attempt to make the person leave Salami said, "Don't kill me, I am a furry". The cough drop snarled an said, "I hate furries" and kicked in the door. Salami shrieked but then the cough drop shoved a cough drop knife down her throat and he tore up her throat.
2 Days later
Marsha is seen kissing Michael while Is-land watches from the bush. Stoner walks in and scoffs, "Ugh can you guys like not make out right now, we have to go to school 🙄 ". Marsha and Michael look at Stoner and say, "Shut up you're just jealous we have someone and you don't!". He scoffs and starts walking to school. John Quesha appears out of no where and says, "Marsha are you ready to go?". Marsha says yeah and they go to school.
School
The gang arrives at school and they see Ms. Olaf being a whore, Goldie being kind of a bitch, and Is-land watching from the bushes. Marsha and John Quesha head to first period, Health Science. Michael walks to Digital Literacy and sees Tommy. Tommy goes over to Michael and says, "Hey Michael! Um uh what's that on your neck?" he asked. Michael responds with, "It's just a bug bite". Tommy responds with a sarcastic sounding sure. On the intercom the principal, Mr. Snorlax announces that salami has been murdered and that all students must head to the gym immediately. Once all the students had arrived Mr. Snorlax began his announcement. "We have unfortunately lost one of our most treasured students, Salami. We have also came to the conclusion that one of you students have murdered her. This is because the big bills mansion requires a student RIP card or a Big Daddies Pizza card to enter. A single cough drop was found at the scene of the crime." Murder? Marsha thought to herself, is that why she didn't answer my call for a threesome? I have to solve this because I'm the main character she thought.
