Game of Fate: Love 'n tears

Chapter 5

''What are you doing here?'' nakataas ang kilay na tanong ni Mika kay Jia nang mapagbuksan niya ito ng pinto.

Diri-diritso lang sa paglalakad si Jia sa loob na parang walang narinig. Pinalibot nito ang mata sa paligid.

"May himala ba? Ang linis yata ng bahay mo ngayon. Nagbagong-buhay ka na?" natatawa nitong tanong. 

''You still have the guts to see me after you sent your cousin here?'' nakapameywang na tanong ni Mika.

''Come on, isn't he handsome? What do you think? If the two of you got together and get married then you'll be my cousin-in-law," anito. She rolled her eyes.

"That is impossible."
Kumuha siya ng dalawang can beer. Inabot niya ang isa kay Jia pero hindi ito tinanggap ng kaibigan.

"It's still early, you're already drinking?'' Umiiling-iling na tumingin ito sa kanya. Nagkibit-balikat lang siya at umupo sa single couch.

''But I still think, you should consider him. You look good together." She shook her head, sign of disapproval. 

"He's too dull. Boring. And he's too innocent- " biglang pumasok sa isip niya ang nangyari kagabi. Lihim siyang napangiti. Pero 'agad 'ring bumalik sa normal.

"I don't date guys like him." 

It's not that she hate him, but she can't. Falling in love is the biggest regret of her life. Kagaya nga ng sinabi niya, she lost a lot. At ayaw niyang mangyari ulit 'yon.

''Hindi mo man lang ba susubukan? Malay mo-''

''Unless, you want me to die. I'll love again,'' malamig niyang saad. Biglang natahimik si Jia.

''You know me. Once I fell, I would give my all. Until there's nothing left for me. That was me. Too naive, too stupid.'' She caressed her stomach and smiled bitterly.

''I don't want to be that kind of girl again, Jia. Never.'' She drank the whole can of beer and crumpled it with her right hand.

Marahang napayuko si Jia nang makita ang lungkot sa mukha ng dalaga. It also hurt her to see her like this, but she can't just let her wasted her life. Three years is enough. She can no longer tolerate her behavior.

''But it's been 3 years. Hindi lahat ng lalaki pare-pareho. Look at my cousin, I know him since kid, he's responsible. Why don't you give it a try? Why don't you give yourself a chance to be happy again?'' 

''I'm already happy. I don't need anyone.''

''You're not! Araw-araw laging puno ng sugat ang katawan mo, ni-wala kang ibang kaibigan. If you're not in the bar, nakipagbugbugan ka naman. Iyan ba ang masaya para sayo? You're clearly punishing yourself!'' hindi na napigilan ni Jia ang sariling mapasigaw. Umiwas ng tingin si Mika.

She's right, she's punishing herself. Someone like her doesn't deserve to be happy at all. Because of her, innocent lives had been lost. This kind of pain isn't even enough to repay her sin. No. She really can't pay it. Even if she'll kill herself. It's not enough.

''If you're only here to persuade me, pwede ka ng umalis. May gagawin pa ako,'' taboy niya dito sa mahinang boses.

''Mika, I'm serious. What happened that day, it's not your fault.''

Not her fault? Right, it's not her fault. It's her mistake. Her biggest regret.

Malakas ang ulan nang gabing 'yon nang makauwi si Mika sa bahay. Sobrang lasing niya ng mga oras na 'yon. Ang puting damit na suot niya ay napuno na ng dumi mula sa kakasuka. Pagkapasok niya sa loob ay naabutan niya ang kanyang mama at papa na seryosong nakaupo sa may living room. Mukhang kanina pa ito naghihintay sa pagdating niya.