The Black Parade

Disenchanted

Koutali sat in the lawn chair with a beer in hand, with Victor in the chair next to him. The sun had just barely dipped beneath the horizon and they could see bats flitting between the tops of trees in the warm California air. Koutali took a sip of his drink.

"You mentioned you used to have a partner once upon a time." Koutali said, looking over. Victor looked up from fiddling with something on the chair.

"Yes. His name was Nigel." he replied, turning back. "He would have liked you, I think. Anyone that cooked for that man won over his heart."

"Anyone that lets me cook for them wins mine!" Koutali said with a laugh.

"What about you? You don't seem the type to have a partner."

"Oh, no. It just isn't my thing, between being a complete emotional wreck 90% of the time and just...not finding anybody attractive. In that way, I mean."

"I suppose it isn't for everyone." Victor said. "Who am I to judge?"

He watched a bat land somewhere up by the manor roof and smiled a bit, muttering something to himself.

"Identity seems to be a difficult thing for the both of us." he said. "Albeit in different ways."

"I guess so." Koutali took another sip from his bottle. "I like the idea that I can answer the question 'who are you' now. I figured it out."

"Oh?"

"I'm just...me."

"How poignant."

Koutali shrugged.

"Gets me through the day."

Victor resettled himself in his chair and looked back up at the sky.

"I hunt for approval more than anything." he said. "I've always wanted to be good enough. To get the spotlight on myself and rise above the rest, despite being quite the introvert. I don't necessarily enjoy the attention, but I crave it. I think...I think I just wish to be loved."

"I don't know what I hunt for. Myself? Belonging, maybe? Do I want to get back what people took from me?" Koutali asked. "When I was a kid it was one doctor after another, with my parents trying to 'fix' me. You'd figure since they're the ones that made me, they'd be trying to fix themselves."

He sort of laughed.

"You won't feel a thing, the doctors would tell me. Maybe not physically. But I felt it in other ways."

Victor nodded.

"Neither of us seem to know gentleness." he said. "I have been twisted into something evil, a predator. A monster. Something that just tears apart everything it loves. Always hungry. Never satisfied."

"Only fools are satisfied..." Koutali sort-of sang, taking another drink. "But you took charge. You saw what was happening around and to you and took action. You built a robot at, what, sixteen? When I was sixteen I was smoking cigarettes behind the school!"

"Believe me, Koutali, I would much rather have been doing that when I was that age. I would have taken a boring life over this one any day of the year. But now that I'm here, working for the Walters, I feel a bit more at peace. Just...not in my head."

"You don't look like you're a mess at first glance."

"I have trouble with facial expression."

"Still."

Victor sighed.

"Sometimes I have to take a second and think about the fact that nobody can touch me anymore." he said. "I had to learn to kick people in the teeth even if I didn't want to, but it ensures that I cannot be hurt."

"Wish I could say the same."

"You've made it this far, Koutali. I'm proud of you."

Koutali almost froze. They were words he hadn't heard in a long time, if ever. He opened his mouth to speak, but Victor continued.

"I enjoy your company. In fact, you feel almost like family, despite our differences. I...apologise if this is too much for you. Finding kinship in other people is difficult for me."

"Oh, no, not at all! I just..." Koutali started. "Nobody's ever said anything like that to me before."

He looked at Victor.

"I'm glad I met you. Really."