Arcane ~ ONGOING

~Chapter Twenty-One~

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I took in deep breaths as I built up courage to knock on Octavian's office door. It has been two days since I've had my talk with Octavian and Ana. Ana dropped in once a day, making that special dish for me which in fact did have rice. It was made from rice and lentils so they basically lied to me. But I don't mind because it did taste good.

Lydel has been living with me since the past two days and I'm loving it. The twins drop in from time to time to check up if I'm doing alright. Everything has gone back to normal and school has started except my brothers won't let me out of the house. I even had to listen to a lecture from Zion for going down to the gardens alone. Something about going down the stairs alone. Now, I can just roam the first floor and can go up and down the stairs only when there is someone with me.

Octavian hasn't visited me since our argument. I asked if he was free but zane said that he was drowned in work. I wanted to believe it but I couldn't help but think that it was all my fault. I didn't want to hurt him but I did and now I didn't know how to talk to him or at least try to.

I raised my hand to knock on the door of Octavian's office but before I could, I heard Octavian's voice from inside, asking me to walk in. I walked in quietly, making as little sound possible. I slightly raise my head to see Octavian working behind his desk in silence. Numerous papers were scattered on his tabletop with a plate of uneaten food. He looked up in concern but I avoided his eyes. His eyebrows furrowed as he gestured me to sit down in the chair in front of his desk.

I quietly settle down in the chair as I look at him. He waited for me to speak up and I took my sweet time building up courage. Octavian's actions didn't seem forced or tense of any kind. He just looked stressed so I was hoping that he was not angry, I mean there is no way to tell with his guarded expressions and cold eyes. It was really difficult to figure his emotions out at the moment, unlike me, duh.

"I wanted to apologize," I muttered softly, looking down, suddenly his matt black pen seemed very interesting.

"For what?" he asked, making me furrow my eyebrows in confusion. Isn't he offended?

"For snapping at you like that. It was very disrespectful and I shouldn't have been to rude about it. I'm just really sorry. I don't know what came over for me to react in such an impudent way and to disrespect you like that," I finished, this time looking in his eyes.

"No, no you're not apologizing for that. That was my mistake, I was pushing you too far and you were right about the trust. It has been too long for you to trust us blindly and I'm proud of you for standing up to someone when you're not comfortable. I'm really sorry for pushing you so hard. I'm sorry that I kept going even when you asked me to stop. I just hope you can trust us enough to open during this time. We just want to help."

"It's alright," I said softly. I slumped into the comfortable chair as I focused on my lap. We both sat in silence. I didn't want to leave before Octavian dismissed me because well, he's Octavian. But I also felt my anxiety creeping up as I sat in front of Octavian with his gaze burning into my head.

"Now that you're already here, we need to have a talk," Octavian said, keeping his pen down and folding his hands. My head snapped up, eyes wide a I question him wordlessly. "Your carelessness that landed you just the ER," He clarified further, making me put on a blank expression.

"What about it?" I asked softly. I didn't know what I had done wrong. I was doing everything he wanted me to and there was nothing I had done that Octavian should consider careless. Just before Octavian could answer, the door opened and the twins sauntered in. Octavian grumbled something about knocking but it wasn't loud enough for the twins to hear.