Solstice Blues

Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-three
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I realized that I forgot to remember that people come and go. We will never know when they will leave or stay.

Minsan, iniisip ng mga tao na ang taong nagpapasaya sa kanila sa kasalukuyan ay 'yon na the one. They thought that that person will stay with them forever.

Do you know what's the advantage of being an overthinker? You can guess situations that can actually happen in reality.

We overthinkers, love to hurt ourselves by our own negative thoughts. Kapag sinabi mo sa amin ang mga bagay na inaasahan na namin, don't expect that we'll be shock. We already expected that.

We played thousands of possible senarios in our heads. Hinanda na namin ang sarili namin para kapag nangyari iyon ay hindi na kami masaktan ng sobra.

I expected that it wound won’t deep because I foresaw that however I was wrong. It cutted deep and even a band-aid can't cover up the pain.

The more we expect, the more it hurts. I endured the thoughts that's hurting me. I don't like people to see my weak side. I want people to think of me as a brave woman.

I can live without a man but I admit that there's a part of me that will stay empty and jealous whenever I see happy couples. Siguro dahil naiinggit ako o dahil naaalala ko siya kapag nakakakita ako ng mga ganoon?

I asked myself about "whys" and gone wasted for having an unanswered queries. I later realized that I wasn't the girl he want and expected me to be, that I was perculiar to the other girls he met before.

If I would be honest, I really want to cry but I'm stopping myself. Today is a big day of mine. I can't let him ruin my day. He already did it the past few years.

Thank you, Kenjie, for making me realize these things. Hope you will truly find your happiness. I will always be your no. 1 fan and I'm soooo proud of what you have become. You always have a special place in my heart.

Nasa malapit na ako ng bahay nang mapansin ko na masyadong tahimik ang bahay. The lights were off too. Iyong ilaw sa garden ay nakabukas.

When I did a few steps and open the door, a tarpaulin fell in front of me. May nakasulat doon na 'congratulations' at sa ibabang bahagi nito ay naroon ang mukha ko.

"Congratulations!" bungad nang mga tao na nagtipon-tipon sa bahay namin saka pinaputok ang confetti. Natawa ako saka bumati sa kanila. There was a genuine smile on my lips as I wander my eyes to the small living room.

"Thank you."

Inalis ko ang mga confetti na sumabit sa buhok ko. Nilapitan ko si Nanay Lucy saka isinabit sa kaniya ang mga medalya ko. Naiiyak niya akong tiningnan. I hugged her.

"Nanay naman," I spoke and pouted. "Proud kami sa iyo, 'nak." That made me smile wider. "Paniguradong pati ang mga magulang ninyo sa langit ay masaya at proud ng sobra sa iyo," dagdag niya sabay bitaw sa yakap.

Hinubad niya ang mga medalya na sinuot ko sa kaniya saka tumalikod. Nang sumilip ako kung saan niya inilagay iyon, it was on front of my Mom and Dad's portrait.

Nanubig agad ang mga mata ko. I looked at Nanay Lucy and slowly walk to her. Ngumiti siya, she spread her arms and embraced me. Napapikit ako. A tear escaped in my eyes.