Gray's Sin | Twilight

Fourth Chapter: Words Never Die

The school's crimson red bricks dribbled with raindrops, but I knew the color would grow a deep blood-red when the downpour soon veiled over the town. And by chance, my phone shuddered in my pocket, notifying me of a second weather warning, the violent storm beginning its assail on Forks so soon.

Genevive detested my driving to school today because of it, but I told her she would have to get used to me driving through weather like this. We're living in one of the rainiest states there is and I was gonna be driving every day to school whether it be raining or not.

The surrounding trees were overbearing, caging us in the midst of the forest while they softly shook like a welcoming wave due to the heavy rain.

I huffed out a defeated breath, it was only Monday and I was already over it. The morning air was so crisp every time a breath escaped me a small cloud of my happiness left my body.

Taking in every inch of the school, from the clingy damp moss bulging from the side walls to the gray slate tiles that sat on the roof, my nervousness was nurtured. Not only was the anxiousness burning inside my chest, I had to ignore the prickling feeling from traveling towards my esophagus.

Making sure my car was locked down, I watched the lights beam up and the small high-pitched beep fill my ears before I walked off. The street was drenched in rain, filling the student parking lot and the surrounding grass potholes with little glassy pools of water.

I tried to avoid the wet holes and focus on the soft patter of droplets against my knuckles as I latched onto the railing to travel up the steps to the school's side entrance, but I couldn't help but be distracted by the anxiety the day would bring.

There's gonna be a lot of introductions, meeting new people, interactions, and the exchanging of words to make conversation. All of which agitated the stress already thrumming through my veins leaving a jittery feeling to linger throughout my nerves.

I've never been one to enjoy social efforts, it was like every time I would encounter a new person my energy would slowly dissipate and by the end of the day I was drained, tired of being around people.

But not only had it been difficult to be congenial or generally open to my own self-confidence because of this, I could also be extremely socially awkward depending on the days. This felt like one of them days which didn't help my case, whatsoever. This worried me, but sadly, not as much as the possibility of crossing paths with the pale white boy I couldn't get out of my head did.

Edward had shamefully kept me awake for most of the night, my head pulsated just thinking about it. It was honestly insane how much he affected me and to think we've only known each other for two days. I felt my eyes roll, not realizing I had been leant against the copper railing arguing with myself inside my thoughts.

Maybe it was because my odd attraction to him physically. It couldn't be anything else being that I only talked to the guy for a day and he seemed like a cool person. 'Seemed' being the keyword. Good looks can make a person do crazy shit, I mean look at me. Can't get Edward out of my mind and I don't even know why.

Even though his forewarning had resided in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but ignore his words which is probably not the best thing to do on my part. 'This is our last time being together. I'm a bad person. It's not you; it's me'... or something along those lines. Pettiness and yearning had consumed the part of my brain that controlled my rational impulses and I was hell-bent on his eyes laying upon me. Not only to emotionally fill my desire to see him, I wanted to satisfy my knowing thoughts of his growing desire to see me, betray his need to stay away.

He was just a constant thought running through my mind like a basic need. Drink water, escape a threat, eat, sleep, and now muse the thought of him... being with me. It was as if a portrait of him was singed onto my inner eyelids because whenever my eyes would flutter closed, I would see him.