Revived

stay or leave...

"Kathy, I have to go to work" I say, "Liv, your not able to work you haven't been cleared yet" Kathy says, "I have to work" I protest, "Your so stubborn" She says while kissing my forehead, I drive to work Fin,Amanda and Cargen stand in front of me, "Can I please go in?" I ask with sarcasm, "We need to talk Olivia" Says the captain, "Ok" I say frightened, "Olivia, can I please see your shield and gun" He says with teary eyes, "Wha-Why?" I ask in disbelief, "IAB says your not fit for the job" Says the captain, "And you agreed with him" I say, "Liv were so sorry" says Fin, "No my friends call me Liv and your obviously not my friends" I say running out, What do I do now I have no job no friends just my wife who's probably mad that I went to work, "Hey, babe" I say sounding stuffie, "What's wrong" Kathy asks, "I got fired and lost all my friends" I say, "Oh baby I'm so sorry I'll be here for you though" Kathy says, "Thanks but SVU is my life it's like they took my life away..." I say, "Darling...your going to be ok, I promise" Kathy says, "Kathy I can't do this" I say, "What do you mean Liv us or..." Kathy asks, "This...this place, life" I say, "Oh my god Olivia..." Kathy says "Kathy I can't..." I say "It's ok we'll get you help" She says "No I don't want help..." I try to yell, "I can't I've seen life without Joelle I hate it I've lived a few months without you I hated it the only difference is I can always come back to you" I cry "Olivia, Joelle's death is sad I know but your gonna be ok" she says "I didn't have time to grieve because you were grieving the worst way possible I'm sorry for the inconvenience but I feel something too....." I say as I keep crying "Liv..." She says, I walk up to the door, "I just need some air" I squeek, I walk out in the street I find myself heading to the precinct, "Cragen, hello I need captain Cragan!" I beg "I'm sorry he retired last month" says the woman "Who's the new captain then?" I ask. "Oh Captain Tutuola" says the lady, I then walk up the stairs and in his office, Once I just sat there and cried he didn't have me escorted out he just held me and talked to me, "Olivia it's gonna be ok you push through it your tough" Says Fin "Fin?" I ask "yes" He says "My friends call me Liv you are my friend" I say with a fake smile, "Liv...I don't deserve that" Fin says "I think you do, I think you deserve to be my friend" I say sternly "Liv you need to know we didn't want to fire you in fact we fought for your job" he says with sorrow "Fin..." I say, suddenly the unexpected happens, "Shut up" Fin says playfully then the next thing I know he kissed me, "Fin...I'm sorry I just don't feel that way about you, It's nothing personal it's just I'm a lesbian and I'm married" I say shocked "You dated Elliot before you got sick" Fin says "Yes I know but that was before I knew I was in love with Kathy Fin I'm so sorry..." I sympathize "It's not fair she doesn't deserve you after the things she's done to you" he says