hiapoewy

lifetime commitment

i wasn't in love with the lines,
she scribbled under the doormat of my room,
as whenever i said that i wasn't in the mood.

i wasn't in love with the pale palms,
which had always covered my eyes,
as my head started boiling with roars.

i wasn't in love with the curves of her lips,
which cracked me all the time,
not because she just looked silly.

i wasn't in love with the blinks,
that she frequently did,
as if she knew—she had always known,
the faint lies underneath of my boldness.

i was stumbled upon wonderment
when she asked about our friendship.

my love, i had been obsessed with your quirks,
the way you played annoying baby talks,
the way you claimed frankly how beautiful you were,
the way you said weird slang and wrote inspirational proses,
that sounding different with your sobs had been leaking—
throughout the cold walls into my ears—
thus i never thought of saving either of us.

i never thought of swimming back to pull you off,
but i had been wanted to be drowned with our entwined pinky fingers.

i never wanted to receive your fain rays,
so i always closed the door on your face,
but the yellow coach beside my bed had been stoned,
and the sunflowers had withered on the table next to the unfinished poetries,
because i heard you prefer tulips,
and you still write for him.

"i never seen you as friend,
rather as my person,"
the itchy-like-phlegm in my throat;
i could only forced to swallow back.

i had been wanted you to talk about me,
without your eyes owning his name.
i had been wanted you to see me through,
to submerge with me in the rather cooling turmoil in my head.
i had been wanted you to look into my eyes,
to let me see the galaxy i wished i could elope into.

it was crazy as it wasn't about the elusiveness i walked onto,
neither the desire to make you cry,
nor the poems of obsession of your will.

it wasn't only i had been in the iced-cage my whole life,
neither you were scared to embrace my darkness.

it was simply i wasn't the person you dreamt to be with,
but rather the one's life you promised to stay—
to fill up the empty spaces of warmth—
for a lifetime to see you as a friend.