stranded // tom holland

~ ch. 25 ~

Andy

December 31st, 2019

   Tom was calling me more than my parents were when they saw me on the news. I was standing outside, about to call an uber, which was impossible to do when he was blowing my phone up, when Tom came running out. Paparazzi swarmed toward the entrance and my heart started to race, "Please, let me talk to you." He asked, trying to grab my hand but I pulled away from him.

   "No, I'm good. Thanks." I replied coldly.

   "Angelica's my date just for this event, my team paired me with her. I only met her yesterday, she doesn't mean anything to me!"

   I scoffed, "Huh, that seems to be a reoccurring theme with you."

   Tom sighed, he paused and shielded his face from the flashing lights as the paps were getting closer to the entrance. They were roped off from coming any closer but it was obvious that Tom didn't want them seeing any of this.

   I laughed and shook my head, "What? Embarrassed by me or something? Is that why you never told the public about what really happened on that island?"

   He was shocked by what I said and immediately refused that, "No! God, no! Andy--"

   Someone grabbed my arm and I turned to be blinded by intense flashing right in my face as I was bombarded with personal questions. I was stunned, I tried to cover my face but the person behind the camera pulled my arm down so they could get clear pictures of me.

   "Get the hell away from her!" Tom had pushed them away, so hard that they fell to the ground, he grabbed the camera and destroyed it. Security came and held the man down, "Call the police, I want him arrested immediately. They are supposed to stay behind those ropes and they are not allowed to touch people!" He ordered. He latched onto my arm and pulled me up the stone stair case and back inside the building.

   I had never seen him angry before, he was never like that even on the island when he was having a bad day and missing home. He was marching through the hall, headed toward a closed door and holding onto me tightly. I didn't say anything the entire time, I wasn't even sure what to say. He opened the door and closed it behind us.

   It was a sitting room, a fireplace going, comfy clothes were folded up on one of the couches and a pair of running sneakers. There was coffee table with tray of food, most of it eaten, and a pitcher of water. He sat me down on the couch and sat on the coffee table right in front of me. He pulled out his phone, shining a flashlight on my arm where the pap had grabbed me.

   "What are you doing?" I asked in a quiet voice.

   He didn't say anything at first, he inspected my arm completely for a few minutes then put his phone away. A sigh left his lips and he met my eyes, "Making sure you weren't hurt."

   My lips made an O. "I didn't think you cared."

   He scoffed, slightly upset by what I said. "Are you kidding me, Andy?" He stood up and walked away for a second, coming back with a calmer tone. "Do you have any idea how concerned I was when you posted that picture in September? I thought you were still in the hospital from when we were first rescued, thought you got into a dangerous accident and almost died! I was terrified, Andy! Terrified!"

   I didn't know what to say, my eyes were down staring at the fabric of my dress and taking slow breaths. This was the conversation that I was preparing myself for. "I had a panic attack. The day you went and told the whole world your story. You lied, I was extremely anxious and stressed after watching and I had a panic attack that was so bad that I passed out. The paramedics had to sedate me when I woke up because I was still freaking out, I woke up in the hospital a few hours later." I explained, lowly and with the best calm voice I could muster.

   Tom was silent. I had a lump in my throat, my eyes were starting to burn, I could feel that tearful breakdown coming. My therapist told me it was unhealthy to repress those feelings, but I didn't want to cry in front of Tom. I wanted to be strong so I could tell him no and walk away, I don't think I'd have the courage to do that if I'm sobbing uncontrollably.

   My voice was shaky, "I wanted to come here and express my feelings to you, to set things straight and move on. Um.." I was trying to collect my thoughts but it was so damn near impossible. Tom came and sat in front of me again, he slowly reached for my hands, I pulled back hesitantly but he kept his hands out with a patient expression on his face. They were right there, right above my lap and waiting for me.

   I had craved his touch everyday since we were separated, I could have it again so easily but I was too scared to put my hands in his. I didn't want to trust him again, he lied to the world when I trusted him and what was stopping him from leaving me behind again after this? "Please." His voice was hoarse, low and strained.

   I took a deep breath, maybe hearing him out was okay, I could still listen to what he has to say and move on after I leave. I looked up, his warm brown eyes looking at me, they were extra shiny-- like glass from his tears. I slowly placed my hands in his and they wrapped around mine so gently that I wanted to collapse completely into his arms.

   "I wish I could go back and do that interview over. I really do. But I can't. If it was possible, I would, but all I can do is tell you how incredibly sorry I am. I can do whatever it is that would give me your forgiveness. I can tell you how much you mean to me, because you mean.. everything. I didn't realize how much I cared about you until we were separated at the airport. Everything. You are everything, Andy."

   "Okay." It was all I could say, I wasn't going to lie though, what he said had touched my heart deeply but this wasn't the plan. I said what I needed to say and now it was time to leave. "I'm going to go.. Um, thank you for letting me express my feelings, but I need to move on from the island now. It's in the past."

   "Andy.."

   "I'm sorry if this hurts you, but you hurt me too. I need to heal myself, not just from you lying to the world, but from being stuck on that island for two months." I got up, my hands slipped away from his and I left the room. He didn't move and I didn't look back.

   I was out at the front again, all paparazzi now gone. The man that stood guard at the front had called an uber for me, as I was waiting I heard incoming running footsteps. I turned to see Tom coming toward me, he sprinted up to me and cupped my hands in his. "Please, Andy. Please, I'll do anything."

   "It's too late." I told him honestly. His face was wet from the tears and he looked so frustrated, the uber pulled up and I started pulling away. He tried to hold onto me but he let go after I pulled away once more.

   "I'm sorry, Andy. I'm so sorry."

   "Hey, it's the countdown!" The man guarding explained to other guard, "Can you believe 2020 is right here? Kinda crazy.." Their voices were talking loud as Tom was talking to me quietly. The countdown started, all the people inside the mansion starting at 10, their voices echoing all the way outside.

   "No, it's too late. You could have chosen to tell the truth to the world, at least told them that I was more than a friend to you after we were rescued but you didn't!" I raised my voice. "You don't lie about someone like that, not to anyone. You had your chance.."

   "5.. 4.. 3.."

   "Andy, I love you.." He cried.

   "2.. 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

   "...you left me stranded." I told him as I walked away, getting into the uber and shutting the door behind me. I didn't look back. I didn't wait for him to try and talk to me. I left. The same way he left me. Stranded.