The World Looks Glorious in the Snow

Chapter 3: "what a dull existence"

Childe inhaled the cool breeze as the ocean's salty spray landed on his skin. Leaning over the edge, he gazed at the magnificent harbor in the distance and said his silent farewells. He would miss Liyue and its vibrant atmosphere, its lively shopkeepers and savory aromas. It was so warm here, and he seldom had to worry about the weather, and he had started to get used to the convenience. But as much as he loved Liyue, he loved his siblings more. He smiled at the thought of reuniting with them at last, of the looks on their faces when he returned. It had been so long he hardly knew what to expect. Would they still be the same as he remembered, or have they changed? If so, by how much?

How many precious moments of their lives had he missed?

Soon, as the wind tugged at the great white sails, Liyue Harbor vanished upon the horizon. Endless water stretched before them. Childe was about to leave when he turned his head and saw Lumine leaning there, gazing just as he had. He hadn't noticed her join him, perhaps because he was so lost in thought. His eyes lingered for a moment, mesmerized by the way her hair fluttered in the breeze. He wanted to touch her, the way he had countless times in his dreams. Not a friendly pat, but something more subtle, more intimate. His hand reached up with a mind of its own, perhaps to tuck her hair behind her ear, to stroke her cheek, but he stopped. He knew it would only make her angry, and he didn't want her to be angry at the moment. He wasn't looking for a fight.

"The captain says it'll take at least two weeks to reach Snezhnaya," said Lumine out of nowhere. "Do you really think it'll take that long?"

"Unfortunately, yes," he sighed, remembering his previous trips. "Snezhnaya's far. Really far. Even when we reach it, we'll have to travel quite a bit to get to my hometown."

"And how long will that take?"

"A few days by foot."

Lumine scoffed. "The scenery'd better be nice."

"If you like snow, ice, and evergreens, then sure."

"Wonderful." Her voice was saturated with sarcasm, and it bothered him.

"Okay, yeah, Snezhnaya is cold and miserable and everything is gray, and if you stray too far from civilization you'll land in a barren, snowy wasteland that you'll only walk out of dead, but...that's where I grew up. As cold and gray and miserable as it is, it's my home. And I..." He suddenly lost the ability to form words. He didn't know why he said all of that, why he felt the need to defend his country so fervently, why a sickening pain stabbed him in the chest at the word home. He turned away and started walking towards the stairs leading belowdecks. "I'm gonna go get some rest."

"Childe..."

He left without responding, stepped into the cabins underneath, and went to his room. As soon as he had splayed out on the bed, that sickening pain came back. He longed for home, for his siblings, and the thought of returning...terrified him. He had been feeding his younger siblings lies for years, but it was easier in letters when he could stop, edit, take it back. Could he pull it off in person? What about Lumine? Everyone was so eager to meet her, but would she cooperate? Would she even care? Would she spill his secrets to the children just to spite him? And his father...how could he face his father?

Lumine seemed oddly happy here on the ship. Whenever he passed her, she was always laughing and conversing with the sailors and the other passengers. Soon, she knew all their names, and she fit right in with them. Childe often joined in the conversation and contributed a joke here and there, but his mind was elsewhere. He started getting anxious. Anxious for home, anxious to fight. So dark. Oftentimes he would glance at Lumine and hope to transmit the message, but she was so engrossed in the sailors' tales that she never paid him any heed. Restless, agitated, hungry for combat, Childe shoved his urges away.