Troye groaned lowly, flipped over and buried his face into the pillows, desperately wishing he hadn't gotten so hammered the night before. It tasted as if something had crawled in his mouth and died and his tongue felt like sand. He opened his eyes slowly, allowing them to grow accustomed to the harsh lighting of the room and made to get up; wincing as he felt the pounding at the base of his skull getting more intense. Troye found solace only in the fact that his hungover state was a result of the drunkenness that allowed him and Connor to get back on the right track. He could deal with feeling shit for a little while if that meant that everything was alright between him and Connor.
On second thought, Troye thought as his stomach lurched unpleasantly, there was no need for him to suffer a paracetamol-less hangover now that they had made up.
Stiffly he pushed himself off the bed, cringing as he dimly recalled his actions of the previous night. Troye frowned as he imagined how clingy he had been acting that night. He probably scared Connor off by asking him to sleep next to him. Sometimes, Troye thought to himself as he made his way to the kitchen in search for water and some pain killers, he could be extremely stupid.
Troye reached the kitchen quickly enough and found himself staring at the top of Connor's head as the older boy sipped at his coffee slowly, too immersed in his phone to notice Troye's presence. Troye cleared his throat and managed an easy smile as Connor looked up startled.
"Morning Con." Troye said as he popped a pain killer and downed some water. "What's up?"
As he dragged his hand across his mouth to wipe away the excess water Connor's eyes followed the movement intensely. He cleared his throat as he gave Troye a small, forced smile.
"Nothing really. I'm actually just uh-" Connor stated, fumbling to shove his phone into his pocket and downing the rest of his coffee. "Just meeting up with Ricky for some lunch y'know. Gotta tell him some... Things?"
Nervously he walked quickly past Troye, swooping through the doorway and grabbing for the keys, all the while a confused Troye followed close by.
"Oh?" Troye said, worrying at his lip. "Maybe I could tag along? I haven't seen Ricky in ages and I'd love to catch u-"
"No!" Connor all but shouted as he whirled around to face Troye. His gut tightened as he saw the hurt look on his face before plowing on. "I just mean um, we've got some personal things we need to catch up on and I'd rather do it by myself?"
He started for the door once more before he felt a hand on his arm, warm and insistent. Connor turned once more to see Troye staring at him, concern etched into his fine features. He hated making Troye look at him like that. First his coming out and now this. He wondered if concern was all Troye would ever feel this strongly for him.
"Connor, is everything alright?" Troye asked and, upon seeing the glances Connor kept throwing at it, removed his hand from its position on the other boy's arm.
"I'm fine." Connor said, giving a weak smile "I just really need to talk to Ricky."
"You know you can talk to me, right? Like I said last night I want everything to be alright between us and-"
"Yeah, I know what you said last night." Connor replied testily, gritting his teeth as an undercurrent of bitterness swept through him "We're friends." Turning on his heels he gave a tight smile over his shoulder. "I'll talk to you later yeah?"
Stopping at the door he turned the handle, looking at Troye once more with a soft smile and eyes filled with too many emotions for Troye to decipher. He stood there for a moment longer, shoulders tense and mind whirring before taking a breath and heading out.
Troye stood baffled, confused by Connor's hot and cold personality. This cold, distant person wasn't his Connor. His Connor was full of warm smiles and bubbling, adorable laughs. His Connor didn't look ready to snap whenever Troye laid a hand on him. His Connor was breathtaking and lively not on edge.
Something was wrong and this version of his Connor made him worried. He seemed sad and bitter almost. But for a split second before he left he saw a brief flash of his Connor in the fond smile he gave Troye before he closed off again. Troye was nervous. Maybe everything wasn't as fine as he thought they were.
In his car outside the flat, Connor let out a shaky breath. He hadn't meant to snap at Troye, his heart aching as he pictured the younger boy's hurt expression as he practically stormed out of the flat, he just needed to get out of there quickly. He needed to distance himself from Troye. Whatever he was feeling, for Troye or as a result of Troye, he needed to bury it and distancing himself seemed like the best plan of action. Repress, repress, repress. Because in the end Connor would never be enough for someone like Troye. Someone so talented and enthusiastic and just so beautiful. Because lying to himself by thinking that maybe all the flirting wasn't just a joke was dangerous to his already hopeless infatuation. He knew that projecting his feelings would end in heartbreak and awkward, pitying looks and that a beautiful Australian boy with bright eyes would never have feelings for plain Minnesotan boy like him.
No, he wouldn't hold onto stupid hopes like that, wouldn't keep Troye down like that. He might've fallen hard but he wouldn't bring Troye crashing down with him. In the end Troye deserved someone who had more to offer him than Connor ultimately could.
Someone, Connor thought as he saw a familiar bob of blonde hair exit their car and rush towards the flat, like Tyler Oakley.
_______________________________
AN: Bruh so much had happened I'm so sorry I haven't updates in ages but important stuff about the story I need to say.
1. They've been living together for a month or two at this point. Not enough for marriage yeah, but kinda long enough for genuine feelings to develop right? Idk
2. Okay no Tyler isn't my absolute fav yt-er but I'm not villainizing him in this story okay. I just thought of that sentence and I was like bruh thats good.
3. I think I'll be able to update at least once or twice more bc I'm in Spring Break (and its already snowed twice now nice)
OKAY SO GUESS WHAT. I FUCKING GOT TICKETS TO THE FUCKING 5SOS CONCERT FUCK YEAHHHHHHH
Also my best friend is moving to Texas in like 2 days and I'm gonna miss her and nothing is really gonna be the same but its gonna be okay.
Bro I need to hurry the fuck up with this author's note like I'm leaving to hang out with my friend in like 30 minutes and I'm just sitting in my living room with my TRXYE Sweater on and a bra bc I wore the sweater to sleep and I'm too lazy to change.
What else, what else? I'm pretty sure there was more shit to tell you?
OHH OH OH MY GOD FUCKIG SHOOT ME IN THE FACE FUCKING TRONNOR IS IN PERTH TOGETHER WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. NO SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK I HATE. THEMMM. LIKE ????? OH GOD BUT WHEN IS AMPLIFY. YOU KNOW THAT THING THAT'S FOR AUSTRALIA YOUTUBERS THAT CONNOR, AN AMERICAN IS GOING TO. OH YEAH ISN'T THAT IN LIKE 2 WEEKS OR SOME SHIT.
BRO ALSO THEY WEN'T TO DISNEYLAND TOGETHER THAT IS SO FUCKIN CUTE OHHHHHHHH MYTYY GODDDDDD
ALSO FUCKING PHAN FUCKING GET OUT OFF MY FACE PLEASE. THAT CRAFTS VIDEO WAS WEIRD AS FUCK AND MADE ME SO UNCOMFORTABLE THESE FUCKING DORKS. BUT I DON'T GET WHY PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR SHIT OVER TABINOF AND THE YOUR LIKE CALM DOWN AND ENJOY IT THEY'RE NOT FORCING YOU TO BUY IT THOSE ARE NORMAL PRICES. BUT REALLY THAT DANCING VIDEO AND THE BEND AND SNAP AND AWWW FUCKING TOXIC I'M DONE
Omf okay I really need to go get fucking changed i have like 28 minutes shit okay bye love you guys thanks so much for reading and putting up with my awkward rants and bad updating schedule. Kay byeeeeeee *insert wink* *ding*
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Settle Down With Me
Romance19 year old youtuber, break out pop artist, and actor, Troye Sivan, has wanted to move up to California in order to fulfill his dreams of living in America for a few years now so when his good friend and fellow youtuber, Tyler Oakley, tells him of a...
