a married falliam story

"seven of your apologies"

Liam shuts the door behind him thinking about their conversation. He looks down the hall to one of the spare rooms just passed Paisley's, weighing out his pros and cons as he then looks back at his own bedroom door.

I know I said I was sleeping in the spare room but I really don't think I will get to sleep in a different bed then Fallon. We have slept in the same bed for years and we haven't fought in years. Sleeping in a different bed just reminds me of the times we did fight and the times I was sleeping on my own. Those
times are not the times I want to remember again. This shouldn't have come between us but I didn't want to lay next to her thinking she can ignore it and think that this argument will blow over in the morning. Talking and communicating hasn't been Fallon's strongest suit lately but I can't help her because she won't talk to me so I have to let her think. Giving her time to herself allows her to think about what happened and how she wants to deal with it. I can't help her any more then I have already tried.

He bends down and sits on the ground with his back up against the wall beside his bedroom door. He starts to slowly shut his eyes in hoping that Fallon will speak to him tomorrow for their daughters birthday.
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Liam turned around and walked out of the room. Fallon hears the door shut, looks towards the door realising her husband actually walked out. She sits on the edge of her side of the bed and looks over at Liam's side regretting letting him leave.

I can't sleep. I have slept in the same bed as Liam for nearly 3 years and now my anxiety got the best of me. I should know by now that I can talk to him about anything. I know that. But when it comes the time to talked about it I choke up and panic. When it comes talking I feel awkward, I don't like it and as much as people think I like having all the attention on me, I don't like talking about my feelings. Especially to Liam. I don't want him worrying about me, he shouldn't have to so I try my hardest not to bring it up or let anything show. I try my hardest to brush it off but clearly it is doing more harm then good. I'm not letting my anxiety and my stupid feelings effect my marriage or create tensions between us for our daughter's first birthday. Imagine if I could say all that to Liam, that be so much easier then talking to myself.
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Fallon sits in bed under the covers staring from her hands over to Liam's side of the bed and then back at her hands. She eventually got sick of contemplating all her thoughts, what she should've said, what she should've done and threw the sheets back off her legs. She got out of bed and wrapped her robe around her body tying it up at the front. She walked towards the bedroom door and put her hand on the handle before hesitating again, turning it. Fallon eventually shook off the hesitation and nerves and took a deep breath to then walk out of the door.

She steps out of her bedroom and goes to turn the corner when she took a double look down to her right seeing Liam sitting on the ground.

I stare down at Liam sleeping, on the ground, sitting up against the wall and immediately I feel terrible. I feel terrible about letting him leave and letting my feelings get the best of me. My heart breaks seeing him sleeping in the ground. It was either he knows I get sleep anxiety whenever he leaves or something is out of the normal or, he got sleep anxiety himself.

Fallon walks around Liam and sits next to him. She looks at him waiting for him to wake up on his own so she doesn't have to do it herself.

F: Liam. *she whispers*

He doesn't wake at the sound of her voice so she places her hand over his, intertwining their fingers. Few short moments later, the touch of Fallon's hand makes Liam jolt awake and realise his wife his sitting next to him. Liam looks down at himself and around him forgetting he feel asleep in the hallway.

F: Hi. *she says whispering quietly in her high pitched voice*
L: Hey.

Liam blinks tightly still trying to adjust to the light. Once his eyes have adjusted properly he looks at Fallon and see the regret and guilt in her eyes.

F: I um. I need to talk to you.
L: I know.
F: I have a lot of things I need to say
L: I know.
F: I think it might be better if I say what I need to say all together in the one go or I might loose my nerve but if you don't want to talk about it all we don't have to. It's late and I understand if-
L: Fallon.
F: Sorry. I'm panicking.
L: *raises his eyebrows eyebrows agreeing with Fallon*

Fallon looks into Liam's eyes and takes a breath.

F: Okay. I ah I couldn't sleep and the only thing that felt right to do was to come and find you. You are my person, my rock, the one thing I need in my life to keep me sane and I never realised how much I depend on you until something happens, like this. I want to apologise for a lot of things but first for not allowing myself to talk. It's something I need to work on because I am used to keeping all my feelings inside. I haven't had someone like you in my life who allows me to let it all out, but now I have someone that really does want to here these stupid feelings.
L: I do. And they are not stupid and you should have known that for a while now Fallon.
F: I know I know. When it comes to the talking part I feel as though I am being dramatic and bothering people so I don't worry. I think, I have keep all my feelings inside before, why spill them all out now? Secondly, my insecurity about letting people into our home.
L: No Fallon *grabs her hand closest to him with both of his* I completely understand why you don't like people coming to our house. I understand, you don't have to explain.
F: Okay but I feel like it shouldn't be like that. I shouldn't be blocking out my family, I shouldn't be isolating myself from my family I have been with for over 20 years and I should know that we are safe and I should be able to let people into our home.
L: We can work on that.
F: And last but not least, I want to say how truly sorry I am for not taking into consideration your feelings. How my anxiety and stupidity is affecting you.
L: Fal-
F: No. It's not fair to you and I am sorry. I promise that I will fix this.
L: Okay okay.
F: Sorry, was I rambling. Was it too much? Could you understand me, I'm sorry? I-
L: Shhhh Fallon. *he places his hand on her leg* I accept all seven of your apologises.
F: *breathes out heavily*
L: And I know you have been struggling with this but I needed you to recognise it first and see how you wanted to fix it.
F: I'm fixing it. I will. Starting tomorrow, I am inviting all of our family over to celebrate Paisley.
L: Our family?
F: Well my family is your family too. Sam is like a brother to me and by the way you have found a correspondence with him I think he is a brother to you too. Am I right?
L: Maybe yeah.
F: But if you want to, you can invite your family over as well.
L: Who Fallon. My mother? I don't even know where she is... *he says looking away and down the hall*
F: I'm sorry.
L: No no, don't be. It's okay. Invite our family over, it will be good to catch up with them all. F: Okay. Next I am helping you get that article published.
L: You don't have too. It's not your job.
F: You said we needed a family photo?
L: Yeah but-
F: No buts. I will organise a photographer to come here or somewhere and take photos of us. We can get cute photos of Paise and of us and put them on canvas'. I know I have been a living hell in this family

Liam smiles hearing Fallon say 'family'.

F: But I am going to try everything to fix it with you and everyone else.

Liam looks into Fallon's ice blue eyes that he adores so much. He smiles knowing that her apology is sincere and knows she will be trying everything under the sun to make up for the past few weeks.

L: I love you. Forever and always.

Liam lifts his arm inviting Fallon to cuddle into his chest. She moves closer to him and puts her head on his chest. He wraps his arm around her resting his hand on her stomach. He feels her body relax against him as she breathes.

F: Forever and always.
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