Camp Majdanek

Chapter 7: Why Her

     I hated how they made us work and how much, especially the little kids. They weren't as strong as the rest of us. My sister Julia was struggling to keep up and the nazis would beat her up and it tore at my heart to see it happen but I couldn't do anything about it. I would just stand there fighting back tears. Several nights she would lay in bed with purple fingers and a cough. Her health was steadily declining but there were no doctors or anyone that could help. 

      The days were all a blur now. I didn't know what date it was. It felt like years had passed. Years of having little to eat, but yet we still pushed on. I tried my best to tally the days in my journal. I counted them up and realized that we had been there for almost four months.

One day we all had to clean ourselves with nothing but dirty water. Everybody smelled like dirt and body odors. I haven't taken my clothes off in two months and when I did I saw how skinny I was. The worst part was that you received no privacy. You had to wash in front of everyone else.

Julia's health was declining and she was getting skinnier. So to keep her from dying we gave half of our bread and food to her. But no matter how much we gave her she was still in critical health. It came to the point where there was not much we could do. She could no longer work efficiently and the Nazis kept beating her up.

One day she kept collapsing when she was carrying buckets of water. She needed food and water, so I begged for some but got nothing, only whipped. I asked Thomas for help and he did whatever he could, but she was dying.

In the middle of the night one night she screamed for mom. We came rushing to her bunk. She was barely breathing. Mother tried everything she could, but Julia would continue to wheeze.

"I love you, mommy, " She said with a little breath.

Why God? Why her? Why not someone like me? I cried and prayed for her, but I had to watch her die. I was furious that the Nazis would make us suffer and cause things like this.

She started to cry again and then, she stopped. I wept over her. I placed my hand on her heart. It had stopped. Now I hoped that she was in a better place. I turned to mother who was crying but trying to stay quiet.

"John, doesn't- know, " I said through sobs.

"You're right, when should we tell him? " she asked.

"As soon as he gets up, " I said. "I hugged mother and we cried over Julia until we couldn't anymore. "She deserves a proper burial," Mother said. We carried her out before anyone could catch us. After we were finished I found a little purple flower in the snow and placed it on her grave.

"You were the best and happiest sister ever, but you had to die so young, " I told her, hoping she was listening.

We walked back to the barracks together.

At four o'clock in the morning, the bell woke us up. We stood in line for roll call. We could not speak, so I couldn't tell John until breakfast.

"Where is Julia? " he asked.

Mother started to cry again.

"We're so sorry, she passed away last night, " I said.

John put his head in his hands and was shaking like a leaf.

"Why did this happen to her? I swear I'll kill those Nazis! " he said as he angrily got up.

I pushed him back down.

"We can't do anything or we'll end up like Julia, dead." I said, almost crying again.

"We need to keep fighting and push on," I said.

"You're right, she's in a better place now and we shouldn't worry, " he said.

"Well see her again it's only a matter of time, and if we die here too we'll see her sooner, " I said.

We finished up our breakfast and went to work. That day I had many flashbacks of when Julia was alive and how happy she was. How only six years of her being here brought so much joy to our family. It was confusing that she was dead now. But then came another thought, Papa. He would be devastated to find out what had happened. I tried to push the thought out of my mind but it kept lingering over me. Though, thinking about other things numbed the pain I was feeling. Just like when I run at home. I play songs in my head to not make it as boring and painful. I love music, even though I can not sing very well. Music is like my escape from the world. I went through a phase when I was younger when I would always have my radio on all afternoon in my room and would just dance to it instead of getting my homework done. (cut this)

My back started to hurt as I rested for thirty seconds or until someone caught me, but no one did. I eventually got back to work when I felt better. Every now and then I would think of Julia. I would start to cry. My imagination would think she was coming back but reality told me she wasn't. Just like when I lost my grandfather seven years back. He was really close to me and when he died I couldn't handle it. When I would think of him I would cry.

As I continued working, I saw a figure in the distance approach me out of the corner of my eye. I started to work harder, hoping the man wouldn't slap me. I swung my ax up but the man stopped me by putting his hand in the air. I put down my ax, relieved. I looked at the man, and he took his face mask off. It was Thomas.

"How are you? " he asked.

"Tired, " I replied.

"I just wanted to give you an update. We are very close to figuring out how to get you out of here, but we need a place to run to. In your case your family would have to stay in America, " he said.

"Will you be able to find my father? " I asked.

"Probably, but we have a feeling that he is in Auschwitz, " he replied.

"No, " I shouted. "That's the largest death camp out there! "

"Shh! We don't know who could be listening. I know the chances of him being alive and us trying to get him out of Auschwitz are very slim. But nothing is for sure yet, " he said.

I tried to imagine what Father was going through. I didn't want him to be dead. The thought haunted me. I wasn't very nice to him the night before he got taken away.

"The next time I come to you, you will know that we're ready to escape, " he said.

"Thank you, " I said, and I went back to work with the smallest amount of hope fluttering in my heart.