Mr Hegarty's Sexpeditions

Chapter three: mr hegarty and his kinky stick

'Well, well, well.' Colin says with a sly smile. 'Who's been a naughty... naughtster?'

You see him reaching for his metre stick.

'Y/n, this is my kinky stick. I use it to punish people.' You look at him with discontent. What the fuck is a kinky stick? WHY DOES HE HAVE A KINKY STICK AND ON WHOM DOES HE USE IT?

'Don't look so confused. Please. I really want you to not be confused, it'd ruin the whole experience. Allow me to go into a limerick to describe what I do with my kinky stick.
With the kinky stick I find bad boys
And girls whom I completely destroy
Is it solely with the stick?
Or is it my maths? Think quick!
Just avoid my beating-down toy!'

You give him a sonnet in return, all about the kinky stick, which will take me about 20 minutes to write.

'Colin Hegarty, I really like it.
The stick, I mean. It's just fantastic.
For you, I think, it's just a perfect fit.
But, wouldst thou prefer if it were plastic?

Think about it. Would it be yet more apt
For you to use something better than wood?
That's a fact - wouldn't it make me feel trapped?
Would you like that? And it'd make me feel good!

Now, just if you can find something better,
Plastic kinky sticks, oh my goodness, sir,
With plastic sticks? You'd be a trendsetter!
Now, all in all, from what I can infer,

Kinky sticks would be yet be much more fun,
Had you plastic to burn me like the sun!'

Colin is amazed at how long this took the writer to write. The writer had to eat dinner during this, the stupid bastard. He gets out a plastic kinky stick.

You're ready.