Unwanted Dead Or Alive

3. Because he is Dense

Kevin (in late 20s) enters the restaurant with a waddling gait scratching his head, bumps into a chair near the window and lies down on the ground listlessly.

Grandma Greta briskly walks towards him, "How many times have i told you not to fall here and there you small eyed creature. You're scaring away my customers."

"Greta Honey i am sleeping here tonight."

"Where are your manners boy and why are you roaming around in a t-shirt in this horrendous cold. That's it you hear me. You're too much of a pain. I am kicking you out of the studio."

"Studio as in?"

"My rental apartment upstairs."

"Haha generous of you to name as such your shabby cabin grandma. If i don't rent it, no body will."

"Piss off. It's fine uninhabited. It makes money other ways just fine. You are a resident surgeon for heaven's sake. Why do you keep crawling in here pouring your fortune over a good-for-nothing rental, that's stupid."

"Why are you not answering?"

"AHHH Kevin wake up. I'll mop the floor with your face. Move your ass you punk!"

Jonathan hugs granny from the back.
"Look at this bitch. He is snoring deeply granny. This dead log isn't waking up anytime soon psst. He is this dense because you spoil him too much."

Granny: "What on earth are you doing here? Are you taking the weekend nights off again?"

"Non. I am making myself at home here tonight."

"This is too much of a burden for my poor soul. Spare my old bones some sympathy you barbarians. I want to cry. I'll die from emotional stress at this rate. I should start putting some money aside for my funeral from now on *sigh*."

"I'll carry him upstairs then." (Picks up the fainted corpse)

"Do whatever, i want both of you out of my sight this instant. I'll send the dinner upstairs. No need to climb down again. Go have your fun you creeps."

"So i can do what i want for tonight *winks at granny*?"

"And that would be? *granny winks back*"

Jonathan dying of laughter, "I love you granny."

Granny asks Margaret to leave cleaning tonight, "These freeloaders should pay for their breakfast tomorrow. I'll make them lick the floor spick and span. Why don't you go see what good mess Rachel and Ron have been upto now. You can all leave early tonight. No wait." (Granny picks up Kevin's bag and draws out his card sword-style) "Here. Why don't you all go for drinks somewhere fancy (wicked laughter) Also, these are the keys to his car. Just go for a long drive until all the fuel is burnt. Send it back empty. However (Narrows her gaze) One Scratch on it and i'll slit both your carotid."

Margaret runs inside to the kitchen. "First thing first. We are going for shopping. (Breathes in deeply) More importantly, Kevin and Jonathan are they going out? Do they both swing that way? How long has it been? Am i the only one who didn't know. That's so cruel. How could you keep me in the da.."

Ron: "Knock it off Meg, you know how Kevin is. He is a loner inside out. It's nothing like what you're imagining. Now i don't know about Jonathan but he does run a gay bar so it's possible he could be interested in Kevin but..."

Rachel drops the plate, "A gay bar? No way. Before Kevin moved in, Jonathan brought a different woman every weekend here after the restaurant closed. He was paying grandma more than what this sissy crood is paying and even eats for free. Grandma is suffering huge losses thanks to him."

M : "Wow so that's why granny has anger issues but then why does she care for him so much? Are they related in someway?"

R : "How should i know. I haven't been here for a full year either. But weren't you going shopping?

M : "Oh that. Granny... "

.......

(On their way to return Kevin's car, Meg and Ron are at front, Ron didn't drink much so he could drive. Rachel on the other hand is lying flat on the backseat, high and mumbling)

Rachel : "I've heard Kinky Johnny choked a few girls to death during his rough plays and..."

Ron : That's not even stretching the truth anymore. She has reached a new level of feminine courtesy.

Meg : Feminine the fuck?

Ron : Gossiping is the part and parcel of feminine charm and cuteness, no?

Meg : Very. Men are far more dramatic and pretentious. Let's just head home. I need to submit my assignment early tomorrow. I worked hard on it all week. I hope it scores high.

Ron : We had an assignment?

Meg : Why am i not surprised, tsk tsk losers.

............

(Kevin is sleeping on the floor mat, Jonathan has taken the bed)

K : Ow, my back hurts, what the hell? (gets up rubbing his eyes) What What WHAT are you doing here? Why are you shitting on my bed you senile demon?

J : And you are welcome for being carried all the way here princess, should have just let you rot on the cold floor damn it Ungrateful serpents will have shrinking dicks..

K : I never asked you to. You did it of your own volition. Stop embarrassing your petty existence and...

J : Huh you're being awfully talkative today. What exactly happened bitch?

K : It's none of your damn business. Just leave me alone.

J : Right then. I'll do exactly that. Don't come crying later sissy dimwit.

Drowsy Kevin sat there yawning silently thinking John won't actually leave without bringing him something to eat first anyway but to his dismay John was leaving for real. Kevin got anxious and hurriedly grabbed his coat from behind, John forced his step forward but accidentally kicked Kevin in the face and the poor boy rolled on the floor. He starts bawling his eyes out. He had a rough day already.