"You know I can't let you go, right?" The man asked, voice gentler than I was expecting it to be. I looked up and he was staring right at me, eyes uncharacteristically kind.
I nod slowly, whispering, "Go ahead."
~~~
Ava Williams is just trying to l...
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Pass your pawn.
I stared down at the paper in my hand. The blood on the paper had dried to a brownish color. Surprisingly, we had only lost one man in our war against Pavlov. Two if you counted Victor and I wasn't sure that I did.
Pass your pawn.
If only I had been smarter, quicker, Ava would still be by my side. It's better that she's gone. For her sake. I kept telling myself that over and over again, but it didn't make it hurt less.
Pass your-
"FUCK!"
I threw the glass that I was holding against the wall, hoping the sound of it shattering would help ease my tortured mind. All it did was make it worse.
There was a knock at my door and before I could tell whoever it was to piss of, Izaha poked his head in. He took one look at the shattered glass all over the floor and stared at me, but I focused on the wrinkled paper in front of me instead.
"Don't pity me." I growled at him.
"Wasn't going to."
"So why are you here?" I shot him a glare but he didn't budge.
"I was headed out for a while. I came to see if you wanted to go with me?"
"No."
Izaha took a step into the room, shutting the door behind him. "I know it's only been a month, but she's gone, Jaime. And at this rate, you're not far behind."
She's not gone.
But I couldn't tell him that. The fewer people that know Ava was alive, the better. I couldn't trust anyone now.
"You're pitying me." I fixed my glare back to the paper but I wasn't really seeing it. What I wanted to look at wasn't here.
Izaha sighed, giving me a long look. When I refused to acknowledge him, he opened the door. "I'll be back." He left and I was alone again with my thoughts.
Maybe I should've gone with him. Maybe Ava should've died that night so I wouldn't live with the knowledge that she was out there somewhere. No. This is better. So why didn't it feel that way?
