My Teacher (gxg)

4

      We're a couple weeks into school now and I haven't stopped thinking about Mrs. Sumner. She's just so beautiful. And I try extra hard in her class. I'm not exactly sure why though. To impress her? To actually focus on my grade? I really don't know. I've been watching her quite a bit. I watch her as she walks around the room. I look her up and down. Her beautiful smile when she tells a joke. Or her hands when she points to something on the board. I'm not sure if she has noticed me or not. But nothings happened so I think I'm okay for now.

Today I woke up around 6:40. The house is quiet. Probably because mom is still sleeping and dads starting to go to work early in the morning now. I walk to bathroom and get to actually pee in peace. I wash my face and brush my teeth. Then I head to my room to get dressed. I decided since it's Wednesday I'd just wear sweats and my comfy shirt (a black shirt with a small rainbow heart in the corner) that I only ever get to wear when no one's around. Mainly because my mom is homophobic but I think I'm gay. Which is kinda problematic. Anyway I decide to wear a thong so I can at least have someone like something of my body. Which isn't how it should go but I'm desperate for the slightest bit of attention from a male to see if I actually feel something. I grab my things and head to the bus stop.

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     I get to school and I forget that Sally's gone. I don't miss her though. Weird. I talk to Alex but he's too busy talking to Sam. I'm pretty sure he has a crush on him but he hasn't told me anything so I leave it be. I get through the school day. I do most of my morning classes homework during lunch. I've decided I will be sitting by myself for lunch for now on. I don't even eat and I have no other friends. Bing! I checked my phone and it's an email from Mrs. Sumner. My seat has been changed. I have to check the chart again when I go in. Just great.

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I walk into class with my earbuds in. She's not even in the classroom. I figure out the chart and find my new seat. She's moved me closer to her. Front row. Weird but okay. Has she figured something out? God I sure hope not that would be awkward. I decide to scroll through facebook. Nothing good.

She walks into class. She's wearing a blue tank top blouse and black slacks. She looks good. I check her out while she sits at her desk. She looks up to check for attendance and I quickly look away. Did she see me? Oh my god? What's she gonna think? Calm down Brooke. Deep breaths. You're overthinking. She stands up scans the room and hunches back down over her computer, her tiny delicate fingers punching the keys. Everyone is on their phones but I'm watching her. Her shirt hangs down with her breasts. I can only see so far down into her shirt.  I can see her cleavage. and i see her beautiful small arms. Oh my god she's gorgeous. I look up to see her face looking at me. We make eye contact. Her beautiful eyes looking into my brown eyes as a smile forms across her face. The eye contact only lasted about a couple seconds but it felt like forever. Shit! I look down at phone as if I'm doing something. Damn, her eyes were so beautiful, I want to look at them again. I look up to see her still looking at me. I turn my head as I try to pretend I was looking at something else, while trying to hide the smile across my face.

          She just starts class like nothing happened. Did she mean to do that? Did she realize I was admiring her beauty? We have a reading assignment and a worksheet to go with it. She picks on me to read. I haven't read out loud in a class since the very beginning of middle school. I start to tremble with my words and she had me stop, with a soft hand to my shoulder and an "Okay so..." as she trailed off into a short summary of the 6 sentences I just read. I had an anxiety attack and was trying not to cry or breath to quickly. I tried to relax myself. I couldn't help myself. After she finished reading the short paragraph, I stood up and slowly walked to her desk to ask to go to the bathroom. I was still trying to slow my breathing. "Take all the time you need honey," she said reassuring me and handing me the pass. "Thank you Mrs. Sumner." As I walked to the bathroom I admired the pass. She had written a smiley face next to her name. It was cute. I'm definitely keeping it with me forever. After I calmed myself down in the bathroom I headed back to class. I was calm enough to do the worksheet. I felt her standing over me as I was finishing. She smelled like sweet cookies. She smelled good. I let my nose tingle as I indulged in the beautiful smell and her comforting presence. I got up and slowly walked to turn my work into the tray. I could feel her eyes on me. She didn't move from where she was standing. When I turned around I caught her staring at my ass. Was she really or was I just imagining it? I looked down and up to act as if I was confused as to what she was looking at. We then again made eye contact and she walked to her desk and sat down. Damn those beautiful blue-green eyes of hers. I sat down in my seat and didn't look up. A couple minutes went by and the bell rang. I grabbed my things sped walked out the door into the bus.

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          Once I got home I didn't have any homework so I decided to fix myself something to eat. I took my food to my room and listened to music. I started fantasizing about Mrs. Sumner and I together. I couldn't stop. Her hands on my body, mine on hers. The softness of her skin. SLAM! Shit what was that? Of course it was mom. She's acting all pitiful again because I guess Dad called her out on her bullshit. I hate when she pulls that shit. She knows how she is and then wants pity when she's in the wrong. Welp. This is just great.

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     I set out my clothes and get ready for bed  I have a test in pre-calc tomorrow so I want to be well rested. Not so sure that will help me though.

     I can't sleep. All I keep thinking about is Mrs. Sumner's body. It's 2 in the morning. I HAVE TO GET SLEEP! I end of falling asleep, I don't even remember the time.