paradoxical | genshin impact

27: fool.

Belated Happy Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend: Kaeya aka my first love in Genshin <3 This was actually supposed to be posted yesterday, but I had to proofread it first LMAO

+ this chapter contains NSFW content literally right off the bat! Read at your own discretion ;3c

...

At times like this, you couldn't help but feel you were dreaming.

Your eyes fluttered open, squinting at the morning light that glared from the windows. From how hot the sunlight feels on your skin, you could hazard a few guesses as to what time it already was. But even if you ought to be out and about, the rigid body curled over your smaller form made you want to sink back into slumber once more.

"Kaeya," you murmured, turning your head to place a kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Wake up."

The evidence of last night's activities made itself known in the soreness that settled between your legs, and the bruises starting to tinge your breasts a blotchy purple hue. The sight of them alone nearly made you gasp. You understood that it has been a while since you've both seen each other but Kaeya could really go overboard sometimes.

The man in question groaned, shifting on top of the mattress as he kicked off the blankets off your still-naked forms. "Five more minutes..."

You laughed, turning around to burrow into the heat of his chest. Despite the obviously drowsy state he's in, though, Kaeya was quick to snake his arms around your waist, pulling you closer like it was some sort of automatic response. The knowledge made your blood rush to your cheeks, but you couldn't really afford to be embarrassed at this point, right?

After all, you were in love with the guy...

You couldn't exactly put your finger on it, but something was definitely different this time around. Whether it was your own, rose-colored lenses painting everything about Kaeya in an almost unrealistic fashion or something else, you've never enjoyed sex as much as you did last night. Was this how it felt to be doing it with someone you loved and cherished? That was probably it but...

How did Kaeya even feel about you?

The thought made you remember how Diluc laid all his feelings bare the other night. Calm, collected, borderline secretive Diluc Ragnvindr confronting what's before him instead of evading it like he always did. You were nothing short of proud of him, if you were speaking honestly. But his courage to be honest with the person he loves made you a bit envious. Because even if you didn't want to name the relationship you have with Kaeya right now, that didn't really stop you from wondering.

What did you mean to him? Does he love you now? Can you really be more than...whatever this is?

You hadn't really sat down and discussed this with him, now that you thought about it. The only thing you remembered was being swept away by the passion in his gaze the night he took your first time, and it was all downhill from there. And, on top of your unresolved feelings for the man currently sharing your bed, you had the gnawing feeling that you had to tell him about what happened at Dragonspine and at Emmett's. The commission-gone-wrong, the state of the caravan, Albedo's findings, Diluc's confession...

No. You weren't ready for that yet. Going back to Kaeya and letting him share your bed despite the fact that the man you supposedly loved finally loved you back... The only reason he even agreed to sleep with you was to help you forget about the emotional stress caused by your feelings for Diluc. If he found out that you no longer had a reason to fret about his brother, the Captain might not want to keep this relationship with you anymore. You always did take him for someone who didn't want to be tied down—a free spirit that did as he pleased.