Morphine (Complete)

𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮

In Which We Have a Heart to Heart

Hello, dear reader. As you are reading this, you are reading the words of a person who has cried and bled, who has stayed awake and slept maybe a little too long, all because of this book. I would love to say that I am proud of what this book became, but I cannot. Allow me to elaborate.

Didn't love the ending, but it was better than someone dying so TAKE WHAT YOU CAN GET, OKAY?

**SKIP TO THE END-ISH if you want to see BEHIND THE SCENES of how I wrote this book**

Writing is not a journey, but a fight. I fought so hard for this book. I fought myself and I fought the unmoving blinking cursor on the screen. I cannot put into words how mentally infectious it was to write from the perspective of a murderer. I considered doing a few unmentionables a few times too many to be normal, and a few times too casually.

But no felonies were committed in the making of this book, I can rather gladly say. I will not elaborate.

I wrote this over quarantine. Fuck this, honestly. That shit was tough as fuck. And what did I get out of it? I guess this book...which...I can't say was entirely worth all the solitude.

Now that I've said my bit, your turn! What was your favourite part? Hottest part? Worst part? Favourite character? Things you wish had happened? Feel free to SPAM the comment section, I'll be delighted to read them all and try to reply!

BEHIND THE SCENES

I am sorry to inform you, but this book started out as a mafia romance. And a very kinky one at that. I had written five smut scenes in the first four chapters and I decided it was best to drop that idea. I adapted. I molded.

Out came this lil turd and I have written so many of these chapters on way too much Advil :DD

Rannia was initially going to kill Mykel, a mafia leader, and she started to seduce him in his club and they danced, they fucked, and she was like 'well the dick is good so I can keep this up for a bit and kill him later...' did she end up killing him? I don't know. Never finished it.

FYI another part of it was that he hired her to be his private whore and YES there was a significant amount of degradation in this one LMFAOOO I need therapy so bad

The beginning is SHIT and you cannot convince me otherwise. It is strangely...dry? HOW CAN WRITING BE DRY. think overcooked porkchop that wasn't seasoned or juiced up in ANY WAY AT ALL. I rewrote that bitch over six times and ended up giving up. Maybe a year from now it'll work out. Maybe in a year from now I'll finally get my life together and stop escaping from reality to write.

ALSO RANNIA WAS REALLY HOT?? LIKE WHAT. When she went "you're a good boy" to CARTER I COULDN'T BELIEVE I'D JUST WRITTEN THAT LIKE GIRLLLLLLLLLL YOU MADE A WHOLE ASS MOMMY OVER HERE FDKNLDFJNSDFKJDFSJN.\pl[fg[g';fd;l

There is so much more I could say, but I am hungry, it is late, and I am on my period. I leave with one last late night existential crisis:

I hope I do not die without accomplishing anything.

There is a Q&A right after this. Feel free to leave any thoughts, questions or concerns <3