Hanma Shuji x Reader [Tokyo Revengers +18]

✩ 9 ✩

Today was one of the few days of the week that I had to come to the headquarters to perform my duties as the gang's doctor/healer/GP, or at this point I didn't even know anymore. So like usual, I spent the evening performing the regular consultations that the members always asked for. Even though my main reason to be was to patch them after fights, they just ended up using me as their personal doctor for everything or just someone they asked questions to. And although at the beginning it was annoying, I didn't mind that much anymore. Some of the members, despite being horrible people, weren't all that bad to me. I guess your views changed when you got to know someone on a deeper level, and being their personal doctor I got to know them a lot.

And like normally, after I finished those errands with the gang I stayed there to study in order to get the most of my time and not have to commute so much. So in the end, especially after being allowed to come fewer days for a short period of time, that just was the most efficient place of study. Even though the many distractions that typically surrounded me, and tonight there were many. But there was just one in particular that completely broke any hope I had of getting work done, and that was the chitty chatter around me. 

Of course, it was normal to have people talking, laughing, and being nosy at a place meant for them to hang out. It wasn't that what I'm complaining about. It wouldn't even bother me that much anyway because, in fact, it sometimes helped me focus. But not tonight, and not with the topic of the conversation going on. I just couldn't help but roll my eyes with disgust and a sigh when I heard the few men that were left talking about the women at some stripping club or something. But that wasn't what made my mind unable to focus either, it was usual for these guys to talk like that about women anyway. At least they normally didn't talk about me like that or treated me that way, not to my face, and not for the most part of the gang members anyway. In any case, what completely made me unable to focus anymore was what followed that conversation about those 'hoes'.

"What I'd do to be able to join Kisaki and Hanma, fuck" one of them said, almost with a moan from imagining whatever he was picturing in his mind "I swear, they have the best girls in Tokyo. It's basically impossible to leave without getting laid" 

"Especially if you're Kisaki and Hanma" another one of them added with a gloomy sigh. 

It was stupid, I know, but it still bothered me. Obviously, I didn't expect Hanma to stay loyal to me or something. We weren't anything, he just fucked me twice and that's it. But still, their ongoing and sometimes detailed conversation about Hanma and those girls, and how he had also taken several from that place in the past... it just made my stomach turn a little. So I did what anyone would have done. I closed my books, packed up, and decided that it was late enough for me. Hopefully, I'd get some comfort in the chilly and silent night on my way home. But I didn't, quite the contrary actually as my thoughts seemed to become even louder. 

In reality, I think that perhaps what made me feel the worst was acknowledging that it bothered me. I knew he had used me, and I didn't mind if he did, at all. You're such a fucking whore ... I thought, ashamed and embarrassed of that truth. But even if that was the reality, if I was his whore, I didn't want to think of him having other whores.

Just why did my body react to him that way in the first place? It didn't make sense, and if he could do whatever he wanted I could too. So I made my choice. I was their gang's doctor, that's the deal I made with him. I never said anything about being his personal toy, and thus, I would commit to being just their doctor from now on.

Right the next day, I was leaving the cafeteria of my university's campus to once again lock myself in the library while I felt my sanity slip away from me little by little the fewer days that were left for my exams. Finding a little comfort in the thought that once I was done with this semester's exams I would spend at least a week just doing absolutely nothing and sleeping.