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『••✎••』
头脑
"So, are you ever going to tell me what happened in that place?" Minori and Lem were sitting at a park. The sky was a deep grey and the air was damp and stuffy. They we're on a bench in front of a lake.
"I don't know where I'd even start Lem, you know all our lives we've been hurt and running and it's so tiring, do you ever get tired L?" The woman smiled slightly nodding.
"I'm always tired, always." Minori took a deep breath and reached for the bottom of her shirt playing with it.
"I feel disgusting, I feel empty, and alone, and broken, worse than I did when we lost our frie-family when we lost our family." Lem nodded in agreement and placed her hand on Minori's knee.
"And just every time I see you do something they would have done or someone says something I know they would have it hurts, but this...L it feels like I'm owned like I'm nothing but a speck on the world." Clenching her jaw, she looked back out into the water.
"What. Did. She. Do." Eyebrows furrowed Minori's lip began to tremble as she recounted the memories of what happened.
"At first, she only talked, then I woke up strapped to a table, she kissed me, while holding a knife to my neck, she was telling me that I loved her, that I needed her. Then it got worse every time she would come out of nowhere and have me knocked out sometimes, I wasn't knocked out at all, I know you guys said it was only a few days but it felt like fucking weeks for me, her hands her lips, her words, they fucking ruined me Lem and I hate her, I HATE HER."
"SHE- she chipped me A FUCKING GAIN and-and she..." Minori finished her sentence by tilting her lower half towards Lem to lean back and pull up her shirt.
"She branded you." Lem was staring at it sadly before she licked her lips turning away.
"Do you understand how fucking horrible I feel, to know that if I choose to be with someone again, they'll see this on my body, they'll think I'm disgusting, they'll think I wanted this, that I wanted to feel this way." Leaning closer Lem pulled her shirt back down and grabbed her hands holding them tightly.
"So, tell me what it is that you feel..please I'm here." Minori swallowed audibly and took a short breath.
"I feel trapped, I feel like I'm still trapped in that goddamned place strapped against a fucking table and being touched and kissed and slapped and kicked and punched and god I feel so fucking empty, so fucking empty." The other woman wiped the tears that fell down her face away and turned back out towards the lake.
"The first time we met, I thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world your hair was still long then, but God were you something to look at, that same day you told me you hated the way you looked, you said you hated your hair, so I cut your hair for you, badly yes, but I cut it all the same. When we were fifteen you told me you felt empty, that you no longer wanted to wake up if this way life, and I told you- I told you that ill fill you with my love and wake you up if you needed me to." Lem smiled and looked over at Minori with glazed over eyes, and tears waiting to spill.
"And now at 24 I go off and take a bullet for you, because I knew that the world didn't deserve to miss out on a woman as fucking perfectly flawed as you. That scar, that brand, will mean nothing to a person who sees what I see Minori I promise you that, because she doesn't own you, she's dead, she might haunt your memories, but you can't let her control you..I won't let her control you." Stopping to breath Lem wiped her eyes.
"You Minori Perera are strong, beautiful, brave, and so inspiring to me I swear to you, that there is somebody out there who will love every single part of you, even the parts that you think are broken, they'll loves those to because you deserve that, more than anyone that I know, you are no longer caged, you are no longer trapped, that woman has taken so much from you she didn't deserve, and I will not sit here and let you give her the rest of your fucking life because you think your disgusting." Minori wrapped her arms around Lem laying her head on her shoulder, she decided speaking wouldn't convey what she felt in that moment.
"I will be here, and I will watch you smile, I will watch you grow, I will watch you become the woman that I knew you were going to become when I saw you sitting on your porch in front of your house, and I will feel like I'm complete, because as your best friend all I've ever wanted was to see you get what you deserve and that's happiness." Lem kissed Minori's forehead and rubbed her back.
"If I could give you everything you ever wanted, I would do it, no matter what it cost, be it money, be it..my life. I'll give it all up if it means you're okay." Lem could feel the tears falling against her shirt and neck as she took slow deep breaths.
"You're not ugly, you're not disgusting, you are not anything less than the beautiful girl who used to dance to Taylor Swift at 3am at fifteen."
"You are free."
Minori took a deep breath and pulled back from Lem to look her in the eyes.
