I've Never Been So Cold

Jack

He hadn't meant to say those words, they just came out. He was hurt, angry with her.

She had kissed him. Nikki Alexander had kissed him, Jack Hodgson. God, he had been so happy. 8 years he had held his feelings for her, being so careful not to hurt or upset her, hoping that one day, she would realise that she too felt the same way about him. And then she'd hugged him, and the way she'd looked into his eyes before she kissed his cheek, and then his lips. He'd played it over and over again in his mind. The feel of her hand on the back of his neck, their lips meeting for the first time, the way they'd looked so deeply into each others eyes. He couldn't stop the big grin that spread across his face.

He'd listened to her voicemail so he could hear her voice, hear her saying his name. She'd said she was worried about him, that made him smile again. He loved her so much, he always had, and now a part of him hoped that she would love him too.

And then he'd heard that voice. 'Are you coming back to bed' And his heart sank, his world was turned upside down again. She was with someone else. In someone else's bed instead of with him. All his happiness had turned into heartbreak, and then anger. She didn't want him. She never would. How could he have  been so stupid to think that she, Nikki Alexander, would want him. He'd gone home and cried to his dad, all his heartache coming out in floods of tears.

He'd put his barriers back up this morning when she walked into the office, all cheerful and happy. He couldn't let her know how much that kiss had meant to him. Then she'd flounced off when he'd said those words. A part of him had been glad. She'd hurt him, deeply, and as much as he tried to never, ever hurt her, this was different, he felt like she'd taken his heart and crushed it up in her bare hands.

Jack knew where he needed to go. The gym. He didn't care that he still felt exhausted from the hypothermia, he needed to get rid of this hurt and anger.

He left the Lyell, but stopped suddenly when he saw Nikki's car. She'd been gone for hours, but her car was still here. Maybe she'd come back and was in one of the labs, avoiding him,or maybe she'd gone for a walk and would collect her car later. He dismissed it, and got into his own car, driving home to get his gym stuff.