namkook psycho

"Flatline"

Jungkook's POV

"What?"

"....Unfortunately, we discovered that he has a brain tumor and his condition is similar to that of someone who's at death's door..." the doctor explained.

"....wha-- how? h-how long has he had that t-tumor??AH! YOU CAN STILL SAVE HIM RIGHT? I-I'LL PAY SO--"

"Sir. Please calm down.."

"Why? You can't save him??? what kind of imbecile are you?!".

"His condition is beyond saving as we saw how large the tumor had become, we concluded that he voluntarily refused the operation..... I'm amazed how he can function normally even with his illness...that is all sir, then please excuse me and I'm sorry..."

the doctor left as I'm still processing what he just said..

'What the fuck??? Thi-this can't be happening...He looks strong and h-healthy---?,

Now that I think about it, he always looks pale and thin...thin?? The night that I touched him, I was so caught up with my desire to hold him and the fact that his bones are almost sticking out..I brushed it off....shit shit shit....why namjoon..'

As I'm thinking, my hands and legs felt so heavy but it was shaking uncontrollably... The hatred I felt, is slowly fading away...the hatred that was baseless if I think of all the things he did for me behind my back, the shit he goes through to fight my bullies alone and me ignoring him because of his appearance : a fat and "disgusting" person that I perceived him to be....I feel horrible...I decided that I will never chase him, nor abhor feelings towards him, but why?...because he's despicable? a creep? a killer? a stalker?... I don't know anymore... my chest feels tight and my stomach feels like twisting as my eyes were filled with tears....It's suffocating when I think that he will no longer remain in this world...by my side...

"Uhmm, whose with Mister Kim Namjoon?"the nurse asked,

"I-I am!! What happened??" I abruptly asked, and I realized that I was standing in the middle of the hallway meters away from Namjoon's room..

"He's awake... if you want you can see him----Sir!!"

the moment she said that he's awake, I sprinted to his room.. I opened his room's door and I gasped as I catched my breath while looking at his pale face along with his lifeless eyes...

The relief I felt the moment he smiled ever so lightly; a smile that reaches his eyes, my knees gave in and I fell on the floor crying; speechless, with my lips quivering slightly..my throat burning as I shout incoherent words directing towards no one, but to express my frustration and guilt...

I cried with my head lowered staring at the ground, my eyes is blurry with tears.... then namjoon said with his voice shaking..

"Jungkook, come closer.."

I whipped my head towards him that was laying there unmoving but his eyes that stared straight into mine, I immediately got up and got to his side almost barely as my legs refuse to stabilize..I stood there staring at his warm smile despite his skin that was turning cold..

".....sigh.. You already know this but I'll say it again...and again*sob*...I love you..*hic*.I really d-do..I know I-It's too late but I'm s---"

"Stop! don't talk! ...I don't want to hear it..j-just rest...I'll c-come back later..."

I said feeling the heaviness of every word he spoke...it's as if he's saying his goodbye..and I don't want that..no, no, I-I'll make it up to him..

"Jungkook, listen...please?"

"Just rest for now, I'll come back later..."

After I said that, I turned away and approached the door, but the moment I'm inches away from the door my gut was telling me to look back and return to his side, and I listened...

"Namjoon I---"

"Leave."

"What?--"

"I said leave!!"

I was shocked as I looked at him as if he was a different person.. His mood suddenly changed... then after that I stormed out of the room, angry for no reason.. I'm just frustrated that he won't even listen to what I have to say... wait--

Blood....I definitely saw blood at the corner of his lips!!---Shit!!

I ran back to his room and to my surprise he was just looking at the door as if waiting for someone, his glossy eyes and unmoving body made me lose my mind...namjoon....no please---

"....haha you came back--*blurgh*"

I stared as the crimson blood pooled his bed and painted his body red, I couldn't move...my hearing and vision became blurry as I'm hearing the machine where he is connected to.. fall into a flatline..