Ooorah Smackdown Anthology

Garden Delight

"I think it was a mistake to enter, Kurdy. Look at those ships! How are we going to compete?" Boly's voice tremored with nerves.

Kurdis Lilanth gave a lackadaisical shrug. "Too late now to back out if your hunch about the old Earth design was wrong. At worst, they just laugh at us."

Boly solemnly nodded and scanned the crowd with his binocs. Everyone who was everyone in ship design was there - along with numerous people who had pockets deep enough to make a shipbuilder's dream come true.

Thrusting his finger to the VIP section of the left stands, Boly shouted, "There's Precept Fontaine! He's commissioned a ship from the winner every single year. I talked to Soledad who talked to Frepor who heard it from Bengra that he has a hangar the size of the city out in the countryside filled with them all."

Kurdy shook his head and did a manual check over the controls again. "Boly, you believe every load of crap anyone feeds you. A hangar the size of the city? We've flown over Greater Bindot enough times that you know how big it is. Fontaine is rich, I'll give him that. I doubt he's that rich, though."

Boly sniffed and held his peace.

"I'm more interested in us getting the attention of the Builder's Guild. They'll buy our contract out from that snake we work for. Let us really do some good designs."

A close-up of the announcer's face was on the four out-facing screen's above the arena where each team's entry to the Designer Ships competition was displayed. Their Universal Translators implanted at birth made the words from the announcer's many mouths legible. With a flourish of his third tentacle, his voice boomed out, "Team Nexus gives you The Fish!"

Boly whistled low. "I don't know, Kurdy, we shouldn't get our hopes up too high. Look at that!"

Their eyes were dazzled by the multiple beams of light shining on something golden rising from the central podium where each entrant began.

As their sight adjusted, they saw a magnificently stream-lined ship.

"It's nothing special, Boly. They just stuck together a BZ75 and an RY92. Not really a new design at all." He leaned over and pointed to a seam the clever black paint lines made to look like fish scales covered it up.

"Oh, right. Well spotted, Kurdy."

"The judges don't look too impressed either."

In the lower left corner of the plaza screens was a window showing the judge's table. Indeed, the seven beings only looked mildly interested.

"How'd they make them feathery bits like fins though? That is a beautiful effect. I bet we'll be seeing it on all sorts of ships around the city by end of the month."

Kurdy leaned forward and studied the ship before him. An almost gossamer-like material hung from the wing extensions.

"It's solar panels! Know how they normally curve around the buildings? Clever that! I bet it powers the ship too. Huh, they'll have to trim them for flying in the streets. No way the Vehicle Licensing Bureau is going to let ships fly around trailing five meters of solar panels."

"It sure looks nice, though, huh, Kurdy?"

"Aye, I'll give them that."

Having completed its rotation around the plaza, The Fish rose to join the other competitors above the screens.

"Next up," came the announcer's voice, "Is this year's entry from Team Comment. Last year, they wowed us all. This year, they give us ... Time!"

The cloaking device that had shielded the next entrant's ship from view dropped. Ooo's and ahhh's were heard throughout the stands at the elegant figure-8 ship that had a muted cascade of lights that started from one end of the ship and travelled to the other.

"What the heck is that?" Kurdy said and tilted his head to the side trying to puzzle out the shape of the ship before him.

"It's an old-timey hourglass! See, Kurdy, I told you that rumour I heard about all of that old Earth culture stuff becoming popular would be a good choice. If Team Comment is doing it, then it's definitely up-and-coming. They're going to love ours!"

"Well, the judges are certainly more interested in that hourglassy-thing." Kurdy had carefully gauged the judges' reaction to each entrant. Only three so far had seemed of any real interest.

Their comms buzzed. The bust of a ground crew member appeared on holo. "Team Ninny, prepare for movement."

"Acknowledged. Ready," Kurdy replied.

Moments later their platform was shifted out and onto the podium.

Kurdy held his hand up, and Boly gripped it tightly. "Here goes, partner."

"I give you, Garden Delight!" the announcer cried.

With the ease of practice, they flipped the few necessary switches so that as their ship rose, it appeared that the gnome it was shaped after changed its position from standing to sitting.

Silence rang out through the arena.

"Nebulas and wormholes, they hate it!" Kurdy spat out and smashed the button to send the whole structure back through its transformation. "You'd think a ship that actually changed shape would be interesting, wouldn't you?"

"Kurdy, look at the judges," Boly said quietly and pointed.

Their faces were frozen in shock, or whatever passed for shock on each different species.

Body's quiet voice filled the small cabin. "Maybe we should have done that naughty gnome in the bikini?"

As one the judges turned and began to babble together excitedly.

The crowd took that cue to erupt into deafening cheers. A few in grav-boots leapt from their seats to hover around the Garden Delight for a closer look, causing security to jump in and chase them back into the air space over the stands.

Kurdy clapped Boly on the shoulder and guffawed in relief. "Nobody is laughing, Bol. They love it!"

Boly sagged in his chair. "I told you Old Earthy culture is a hit! Just wait 'til they see the gnome designs we can make from those old pictures I found! Classy stuff!"

Word count: 1003

Written for Layeth The Smackdown 2021 - Round 1 Part 2

Challenge: Write a story containing a goldfish, an hourglass, and a garden gnome