That Funny Feeling | Bo Burnham x Reader

Chapter 5: Salty Nut and the Answer

you were up that entire night thinking about what had happened that day. the "milk" that bo had given you. you couldn't stop thinking about it. not with anger, resentment, disgust, no, none of that... with thirst. you wanted more of that milk. it was like some sort of addictive drug or something, it was the only thing on your mind, and it was almost painful to try and ignore the urges.

 that's why eventually, you just gave in. you walked over to your fridge and opened the door shamefully. when you spotted the milk cup it seemed to be almost glowing, a different light than the one from the fridge. you felt electrified as you felt your fingers close around it, and you were in pure bliss as you swallowed the rest of it down. 

it tasted so good, like nothing you had ever tasted before. it didn't taste like cum, not like semen or jizz, not spooge nor seed nor almost-kids. it was salty, but not in a battery acid way. it was more like a really good potato chip way. kettle-cooked, ruffles, everything. you know exaclty what i'm talking about. it was incredible. when it was gone you felt like a piece of you was missing, but the milk that was already inside you gave a whole new sensation. 

soon, you were levitating, physically floating of the floor, being lifted by the power of bo's spore.-- doctor seuss who ummmm anyway-- you felt your chest open up and the room was filled with a bright, golden light. so blindingly bright and yet it did not hurt to look at. you felt the light swallow you, the same way you had swallowed bo burnham's nut earlier. hungrily and without remorse. 

when your feet finally touched the ground again, you found yourself somewhere completely new. you definitely weren't in your house anymore. it seemed more like some sort of venue? you looked around in confusion, searching for some sort of identifying feature. that's when you noticed a large neon sign reflecting behind you. "Papa Haha," it read in fancy cursive letters. you new exactly where you were now. it was a comedy club. not just any comedy club, though. it was bo's comedy club. 

just then, all the lights shut off and then turned on again to reveal one spotlight on a stage. 

"i knew you would drink it." a familiar voice boomed over the speakers surrounding you. "you silly billy, you silly silly little billy."

you turned around, despite already being able to extrapolate the situation. it was exactly what you had expected when you saw ol' robbie rotten standing up on stage, in all of his 6'6" glory (congrats on growing an inch btw), holding a microphone and standing next to a keyboard. 

"h-h-h-h-h-h-how did you know that i would drink the rest of it?" you asked, scared and afraid and frightened. 

bo laughed, causing the floor underneath you to rumble with the intensity of the speaker system. 

"because you're the chosen one, y/n. i knew it from the start but i had to make sure. you really are The One True Boner."

you stood in silence. you were too stunned to speak. 

"o-one true... huh?" 

Bo laughed again, softer this time. 

"i've prepared a little something for you. this should explain everything."

TO BE CONTINUESD....