I made a time travel machine.
A machine that took me back in time when you were here.
A time when we didn't know we were close around eachother.
I traveled through time and found you.
I admired you all I wanted to.
Admired your autumn like eyes that had a hint of the golden sun and were protected by deep forest like lashes.
Those breezy hair which were half tied up for how long they were.
Those pink lips that curved into a smile that made me melt and that little mole on your right cheek that made you unique from everyone else.
I stood right in front of you.
I looked in your eyes thinking that you were looking me back in mine.
But you walked away.
I had forgotten that you cant see me because the time travel made me invisible.
Made my emotions invisible.
You couldn't see me.
You couldn't hear me.
You didn't know what I felt.
You didn't know I existed.
I chased you where ever you went in hope that you'd see me.
Hope that you'd finally see me and hold me close for a little while longer.
I screamed out your name in hope that you'd hear me.
I screamed till my lungs gave out.
But you didn't.
I collapsed.
I collapsed right in front of you.
Right in your feet,
But you didn't have any idea that I did.
And how could you?
You didn't even know I existed.
I collapsed. I left that world. I was gone.
No more breath.
No more heart beats.
I gasped a big chunk of air as I sat up in my bed.
Bad dream.
Was it bad though?
No but yes.
No because-
I loved the fact I was able to see you close to me.
I loved the fact that I was standing right in front of you.
I loved it but it turned into a nightmare because-
You couldn't see me.
You couldn't hear me.
You couldn't feel me.
This dream made me realize that you don't see what I feel for you.
You don't see anything past this body.
I am desperate for you to feel what I feel for you.
I am desperate for you to listen the depth in what I say to you.
I am desperate for you to see what I see in you-
And I'm desperate for you to love me like I love you.
I'm desperate for you to know the existence of my emotions beacuse-
You'll only know my existence once you know my heart.
Once you know that your name is carved on it.
This may sound funny-
You know me but you don't know my existence yet.
One time travel is all it took to realize that I am in love with someone who doesn't know I exist.
It hurts right deep into somewhere beyond my heart.
One time travel is all it took.
One time travel.
~K
December 5th,2021
12:00 am
