lovelorn ; kokonoi hajime

- six -

y/n's pov

4:31 am.

still lying on my boss' bed as he sleeps peacefully on the other side. it's already been an hour since we shared an intimate moment. now, i just feel so empty. i don't know whether to feel happy or sad about it. does that even matter?

i slowly got up from the bed, my legs bit trembling from the sex but i still managed to put on the clothes i've worn awhile ago.

before i leave kokonoi's place, i spared another glance at his sleeping figure. face still holds a frown but his cheeks finally dried up from the tears. city lights illuminating his handsome features. how come such a fine man be this broken? i probably won't be seeing this look ever again ever so it's better to cherish it than not right?

'i hope you had fun tonight, mister koko." i whispered and with that, i left his place.

train stations are still closed so i have no choice but to take a cab. i don't really have much of a choice even if it's that expensive.

when i arrived in my room, i went straight to the veranda and sat on the floor. i grabbed a cigarette from my purse and lit it as the even from earlier replays in my mind.

i leaned back to rest my head on the sliding door as i look up above the sky. tears started form in my eyes all over again, the emptiness replacing with frustration i felt for myself.

i kept on asking why? why did i allow him to use me like that as if i'm just a replacement toy from his missing favorite one? why do i want to feel his touch so bad even though he won't reciprocate the feelings i have for him?

disgusted. i felt so disgusted with myself for also using him for my own selfish desires. am i really that desperate for him just because he lets me have sex with him?

i couldn't say that i regret having sex with him because for once, i saw his other side that i haven't seen before.

i made him feel at ease even if he sees me as someone else, right?

even if i'm not akane, atleast i tried to be her and make him feel better when he needed someone the most.

that's what matters the most and it's also too late for me to regret my stupid decisions. i'm the one who suggested so i have to suck it all up and just move on.

it's just a one time thing, in the first place. just for tonight.

when i finished smoking the stick of cigarette, i wiped away my tears along with the heavy feelings i'm currently handling and went to sleep because i know fumiko will definitely bombard me with a lot of questions.

i need a fucking rest since i could still feel my legs trembling and how sore my cunt is from koko's torturous cock.

—

"woah, who's so hungry that they devoured your neck?" i heard fumiko asked.

god, what time is it already?

i flickered my eyes open and rays of sunshine hits my face. i groaned by it and threw one of pillows over my head to get more sleep but fumiko jumped on the bed
and continued to pester the shit out of me.