Back To Life

part 1

Raman's pov:
Now Ramu kaka is driving and I am sitting in the back seat. I am having terrible headache. I can't even say it's headache. My head feels heavy and my heart feels heavy. At the same time both feel so empty. I just remember a few things. I wonder how I remember some and forgot rest of the things. I feel so lonely at times as if I left behind someone very precious. Forgot someone very dear to me. With all these thoughts I reach home.
I tell Ramu kaka to take paid leave for a week. It's 2 Am in the morning.I entered home with my spare key. I am surprised to see her sleeping on the dining table. Oh I forgot to introduce her. She is Ishitha Iyer. No I didn't lie. She is still Ishitha Iyer cause I still didn't accept her as my wife.How could I? She married me by cheating. Instead of mihika she sat in the mandap beside me as my bride. After all what can you expect from a person like her. Lier,cheater what not. The next day itself I sent Pihu to camp so that she can stay away from the shadow of this woman. It's been one week since this happened. Daily I would shout at her for silly things, torture her. But this woman. After all that she still doesn't leave my house. She still tries to talk with me. Tries to show her fake care. Sometimes I wonder if it's true love and care. I just want to forget everything and start afresh with her. But surprisingly my brain keeps reminding me of her misdeeds while my heart tells to forget everything and hug her and stay like that forever. See now also she slept waiting for me. Apart of me wanted to wake her up and ask her to sleep in room. Other part Of me wanted to just ignore her. I forward my hand to wake her up. Then I remember all her misdeeds. I take a vessel from the table and crash it onto the floor. She wakes up startled. I feel a bit bad for her.
She asks with fake concern when did I reach, why I am so late, Did I have my dinner. Oh her continuous questions. I just walk away without replying her. I go to washroom and change my clothes. By that time I go out she is sitting on the couch with a glass of juice.
"Raman shayadh aap dinner nahi ki hogi. Atleast yeh juice pijiye" she says.
I ignore her and lie down on bed.she comes and again requests me.
" Ishitha mai abh tumse argue nahi kar sakti. Mujhe nahi chahiye. " Saying this I close my eyes. I didn't eat anything the entire day. I am actually a bit hungry. Not a bit ,very hungry. But my ego didn't allow me to drink the juice which she brought. I know she is going to feed me.you know how. See by now twenty minutes had passed and she went down. Ah the smell of food. See she came with food. I opened my eyes slightly and looked at her. She is walking very slowly so that she doesn't wake me up. Silly woman. Now she came near me. I immediately closed my eyes and acted to be asleep. She slowly made me sit against head rest wound her hand around me and started feeding me with a spoon.  You know what I am eating. Oh the same yummy thing which I ate 3 days back. Mashed banana, honey . I think she added some other fruits as well. I think may be strawberry, blueberry and many more. She made them into fine paste. So I can't tell you in particular what all ingredients she added. she added milk for sure. Three days back I slept without having my dinner. That night I woke up when she is feeding me. That time I didn't have the energy to fight with her. I am too sleepy. A part of me actually felt so good. This is how I know that I won't sleep hungry today as well. Now she fed me the entire bowl which she brought. I am pretending to be asleep and intentionally throwing my head here and there. So happy to irritate her. Oh no. Now why she brought this glass of milk near my mouth. I just hate this smell.  I just stayed tight lipped and didn't take even a sip. She tried for a while. Now I acted as if my sleep is being disturbed. She got scared and went down taking the bowl and milk glass. Perks of acting as if I am asleep. She came back and sat beside me. She started whispering her worries that  I may fall sick as I skipped my dinner. She started complaining that I am looking so pale. Didn't she look my six-pack body. I am a Punjabi. Raman Kumar bhalla. Thinking like this I don't know when sleep engulfed me.
**********
I woke up with a jerk hearing my alarm. I immediately turned it off. Today my head felt so heavy than usual. Why not? I barely slept for 3 hours. I remembered that I had to catch a flight today. I somehow got out of bed and took a suitcase. I packed my clothes. I packed all my winter clothes. Oh I didn't tell you right. I am going to Shimla. For a business conference. It is for 3 days. But I booked my tickets for a week. Simple Reason is I want to avoid ishitha. Hidden reason is I just wanted to go away from this mess - the emptiness in my head and heart. I thought Change of place would help it. I somehow packed my bag. I came out after showering. Ishitha is sitting on couch waiting for me to come out. As soon as I came out she went for bath. Now if she gets to know that I am going to Shimla she will start her lecture. Then unnecessarily I had to shout at her. I didn't feel to do so early morning. So  I grabbed my bag and went downstairs. I went to mummyji's room and informed her that I am leaving. Simmi also came there. They already know about my trip. After bidding them bye I went out and hired a cab. Now my heart is feeling so empty. I thought of ishitha. Don't know why I think of her. Apart of me didn't want to go away leaving her. Then again I reminded myself of all her misdeeds. Cab driver's call brought me out of my thoughts. I shook my head to get rid of my thoughts. I started talking with him and didn't even realise when we reached airport. I entered the airport completed all the formalities and sat there waiting for my flight. My head started to ache. I even felt a bit nauseous. I plugged in my earphones and closed my eyes. Now  my back is hurting too. I thought why I am feeling sick all of a sudden. I remembered Ishitha worrying for me the other night. Soon my flight got announced. I boarded flight and took my seat. I saw an elderly couple. Don't know why. I felt empty. I thought there is No one to accompany me. I don't know why I am again thinking of ishitha. Then someone came and sat beside me.wait , it's not someone. It's ishitha.