When angels wings fall

Reflection

   If  I could go back to the day we met; I'm sorry... but I would turn       around and walk the other way.

      Strong women are always perceived as cold and mean simply because they refuse to be disrespected, mistreated or taken for granted.
    I wish i had met some people earlier, some a little later and  some  never at all, for the fact that encounter with some people leaves such an ugly taste in the mouth  scaring for a  life time.  The wound has being healed but the old scars still  sit there and each time the memories  comes it's force is that of a tidal wave  cascading  20feet of water crashing down   from within stabbing, tearing my insides , breaking me, drowning me  my ugly decorated  past mocking me taunting me  eating me alive .  For each passing moment each breath I take old wounds were made fresh, raw, i felt salt being added  to open wound.  I died and my corpse  stuck around reliving the horrors inflicted on me and it was right then and there I decided I did not like the way it made me felt so  i committed  the bravest act i have  ever done,  I continued to live when i wanted to die. I am  telling my truth  and its undiluted.  Yes i can talk like this  i have slept with the devil lived in hell and here I am a survivor of it all .
     It is said women were made crazy from the first one  was created but if women are crazy what are men? men lie so much I'm starting to believe t'was Adam that bit the apple and blame it on eve that's why the adams apple been stuck in their throat ever since  I think the male species wasn't born to love naturally.  Ok so maybe i am over thinking but my experiences tells me that a male will never care and can never the way a woman does   if you are going to date someone please do your research and find out how that person was raised. A lot of people wasn't raised on love they were raised on survival  that's  one of the main reason why so many men/women not being able to love  properly  they don't know what love really is and often times shows the wrong behaviour and naming it love. They will hurt you repeatedly and call it love, you will find a lot of good looking people out there but you have no idea how damage  and broken they are  until you try to love them. This has everything to do with their past, know the past to make the necessary adjustment for the future. People will typically say i was raised right but being raised right  doesn't  mean you don't drink  smoke or party.  Being raised right is how you treat people, your manners and respect, you are never too important to be nice to people and  if you are in the business of singling out who you are going to be nice  to you are still a  person that is not nice and most times it is these type  that get so upset when they are treated  exactly  the same way they  treat others.  Life would be so easier and less complicated if people's physical  appearance changed according to how good or bad they treated others.  In all honesty some of these love that some people have issuing should be package and sent back home to their mother, father and their siblings  because i have seen cases where people with inhumane behaviour  is nurtured  and groom by family and the extended family ,then some innocent person out there get caught in their web and if you allow it  you become their victim.  At first they will be god's greatest gift to you, a walk in the park ( you just didn't  expect Jurassic  park).then comes the  insult, belittlement, criticism  in a teasing way(joking ) pushing you to reach your boundaries  and  when you finally  speak  up,  put as much effort as you are getting they then use your reactions to make you seem crazy  within weeks they can turn an easy going person into   a hot mess of insecurities and self-doubt and  if you are not careful  of the toxins they spit  you just might  become a carrier of the virus of their disease.  Even devil, ghost, monsters and witches are less dangerous than these types, they are what is known as a narcissistic sociopath .                                                                                                          
       If any case  life  should  hand you such a deal and you find yourself  in such a situation  sometimes you just have to go  down with such blow cause if you stand up to it you might break  but be mindful  not to stay down or you will be like stone. Soon  you will realize  everything that happened was moulding you for the ultimate good you  learn,  grow and overcome in the weakest moment  finding  your greatest strength, leading to a greater destination,  learn to fly again  soar  with the eagles and land among the greats .